Guys Hate Drama!

Thaaaaat’s riiiiight, I’m saying it! Guys cannot stand to be in a drama-driven environment. It produces in us aggravation and dread.

Man alive, was I reminded of this fact again today in the course of documenting some existing conditions in an office suite for which we’re in the process of designing some alterations and expansion facilities. It was during business hours and very crowded with people.

While going about my work I could hear one woman in the adjacent room talking with elevated anxiety about her boyfriend to her female co-worker. She went on and on, speculating what he might have meant by an 8 or 9 word sentence he’d spoken to her. She hit it from different angles, talked about what she thought about each one and how she would respond to every possible scenario. And you know what? I’ll bet the guy can barely remember having had the conversation.

I thought, It is whatever he said, Lady! Why don’t you just ask him what he meant? If you want to look for hidden meanings and symbolism, read Moby Dick. Guys just aren’t that cryptic. If you ask the right questions you’ll get answers that make sense. I hope her boyfriend is recognizing the red flags in the relationship because, if he stays in it, his world will be continually unsettled. Yikes!

I’ve had guys tell me they quit their jobs because of too much drama at work. The only kind of drama a guy likes is the last two minutes of a sports event, maybe coverage of a close election (if he remembered to vote) and the suspenseful plot of an action movie (as long as it is brought to resolution with gunfire, car crashes or explosions, preferably all three).

Guys like stability, order, cause & effect, recognizable patterns, understandable sequences, reasonable dispositions, fair negotiations, clear instructions, stated goals, written contracts, straight talk in plain language, the right tools for the right job and, I might as well throw in, menus in English.

No guy goes to work in the morning thinking, Man, I can’t wait ‘til I finish my shift and I can get out of here to go find me a situation primed with drama! That would really make this job worth it! That said, however, most men of some devotion won’t object to discussing a woman’s concerns or problems in a non-turbulent, non-theatrical manner.

Women, here’s a tip: If you’re looking for male companionship, socially or romantically, the best tack to take is one that avoids appreciably involving guys in endless personal insecurities, emotional chaos and rocky behavior because…get this now, Guys. Hate. Drama.