A friend of mine asked me a while back, “So, how’s bidnez? You still architek’in?”
He’s the only one I know who uses my profession used as a verb, but I answered, “Yeah, still, business HAS been better.”
The truth is, business used to be a lot better. So much so, that I’ve started giving some thought to supplementing my profession’s dwindling work opportunities with something else that’s less-impacted by the sorry state of the economy.
After giving thought to various possibilities, I’ve decided I’d like to pick up some part-time work as a celebrity, nothing big, maybe eight to ten hours a week – 12 tops. The public appetite for celebrity exposure seems insatiable and, therefore, suggests a recession-proof industry.
As part of due diligence, I’ve recently taken a serious look at celebrity interviews on TV, doing well over an hour’s research. As far as I’ve been able to determine by observation, the primary job requirements of being a celebrity are:
1. Cultivate a self-important air, feign superior knowledge of everything outside of your particular experience and exhibit condescension cloaked in compassion.
2. Say foolish and either obvious or uninteresting things when you’re being interviewed.
3. Talk about yourself a lot.
How hard can that be? I used to do all that and a lot more just trying to get dates in high school.
I know what you’re thinking. The formula above seems oversimplified, right? I'm fairly confident though, if you study the subject for yourself, you’ll find that your own data will correlate closely.
If I were to add 15 or 20 pounds I could be this guy. Wonder what he gets paid?
Next time: My personal qualifications
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