Big Commotion Ovah Nah'ting

Whatever Happened to the Little Rascals?

2010-07-07T21:07:00.004-10:00

I watched reruns of the Little Rascals on our old black & white TV set on afternoons when I was in elementary school. My kids watched them on video release back in the 1980's. I think my parents, at least my mother, watched the original releases during their/her childhood.

There was something about the creativity and can-do attitude of the Our Gang group that, more than just their escapades and antics, appealed strongly to our young hearts.

The short black & white films placed the Little Rascals in their own inventive and engaging world, an adult-imitative but child-centered one, and one we could easily picture ourselves in, as well.

Following their young acting careers, life for the series' child stars became harder and, in many cases, ended tragically.

This link is to a web page summarizing the adult lives of many of those featured in the Our Gang films.

Canada Housing Market to Follow U.S./Hawai'i Experience?

2010-07-07T07:33:00.006-10:00

Hawai'i, especially on the Big Island, has been experiencing steep deflation in the housing market. Construction jobs are at about 30% unemployment here now. The residential real estate market has been in the doldrums for a couple of years now.

Investment advisor, Mike "Mish" Shedlock, in commenting on the current condition of the real estate market in Vancouver and Calgary, Canada, identifies a post-peak pattern of housing market declines in the U.S. His pattern appears to be very close to what we observed in the Big Island housing drop. It is worth a look for future reference. Here it is:

Housing Collapse Cascade Pattern

- Volume drops precipitously
- Prices soften a bit
- Inventory levels rise slowly
- Higher-end home process remain relatively steady for a brief while longer
- The real estate industry tries to convince everyone it's "business as usual" and homes are affordable because rates are low
- Bubble denial kicks in with media articles everywhere touting the "fundamentals"
- Stubborn sellers hold out for last year's prices as volume continues to shrink
- Inventory levels reach new highs
- Builders start offering huge incentives to clear inventory
- Some sellers finally realize (too late) what is happening
- Price declines hit the high-end
- Increasingly desperate sellers get creative with incentives, offering new cars, below market interest rates, trips, etc.
- Gimmicks do not work
- Price declines escalate sharply at all price levels
- The Central Bank issues statements that housing is fundamentally sound
- Prices collapse, inventory skyrockets and builders holding inventory go bankrupt

Mish notes, "Some of those may happen simultaneously or in a different order, but the whole mess starts with a huge plunge in volume."

Click here for the entire article.

What Did They Know That We Must Never Forget?

2010-07-04T07:55:00.015-10:00

Answer: That rights have been conferred upon men by God and that governments must be established to protect those rights. Rights cannot legitimately originate in politics by the whim and will of men of power.

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

"The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America:

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

-That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

-That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

-Such has been the patient sufferance of the Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government."

Politicians Orate, and I Go, Huh?

2010-07-01T21:04:00.008-10:00

I want to try to get to bed early tonight so I’m going to try to clear my mind here of a few statements by the political leadership of the country that jump the rails of the logic lines most of us are born with.

Today, the president again stated that it is impractical to enforce the country’s immigration laws, given that there are 11 million illegals in the United States and the manpower is just not there to do the job.

Huh? Given that there are about 138 million taxpayers in the country, using the same logic, why wouldn’t he declare that it is impractical to enforce income tax laws in the United States? Presumably, it would take more manpower to enforce these much more complex laws. Oh, right, I just remembered, the government is hiring 16,000 more IRS agents to enforce compliance with the new health care bill. Perhaps that’s why there isn’t the manpower available to enforce immigration laws and provide border security.

Still, that is not the greatest inconsistency in his argument. There are three others:

1.) He supports a system that holds undocumented immigrants “accountable” by having them pay a fine, pay taxes, learn English and become citizens. Huh? If we cannot hold them accountable to existing immigration laws, what logic is there in assuming they will find it desirable to be accountable to a list of requirements they can already ignore? Especially, if enforcement manpower is impractical?

2.) The president further stated regarding immigration reform, “I’m ready to move forward, the majority of Democrats are ready to move forward and I believe the majority of Americans are ready to move forward… Reform that brings accountability to our immigration system cannot pass without Republican votes. That is the political and mathematical reality.”

Huh? Actually, Mr. President your Democratic party holds the Executive branch of the government as well as both bodies of the Legislative branch. You passed a widely unpopular health care bill under the same conditions. How can you say you don’t have the votes? The Republicans have been little more than eyewash since your election.

3.) He asserts that we cannot remove illegal aliens because they have become woven into the fabric of the country. Huh? Couldn’t organized crime syndicates be excused using the same reasoning? Have a look at the movie, The Godfather.

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi is seen here on video stating that unemployment checks are the fasted way to create jobs. Again I say, huh? Do the unemployed use the money to help capitalize new businesses and industries, or apply it through investment to the most market-efficient allocation? That’s how jobs are formed. Otherwise, taking money from A (whether a current earner or one yet unborn) and giving it to unemployed B doesn’t grow the economy one dollar or create new, at least in any sustainable sense, jobs.

I’ve gotten used to politicians lying blatantly. What really disgusts me is when they treat us like morons, which they do when they speak in ignorance, factual error and logically inane statements, and then attack us with ad hominem insults when we disagree with them or call them out on their unsupported assertions.

And by the way, a tax increase at this stage, without iron-clad budget and spending reductions is like tying the economy to an anvil before throwing it off the bridge.

Twilight Eclipses my Comprehension

2010-06-30T21:24:00.004-10:00

So, it’s that time again. Twilight Fandemonium hit with last night’s, 4,000 North American Theaters’ 12 a.m. to 3 a.m showings generating more than $30 million.

I suppose I shouldn’t comment on the phenomenon, not having seen the picture, and my earlier post, Twi-night of the Living Dead laid out my questions regarding “The Saga”, but really, how could the “Twilight” movie characters possibly be more compelling than Gary Cooper in High Noon, or Gregory Peck in The Gunfighter?

There are no reports that people lined up, breathlessly anticipating the midnight showing of those two great films. Were audiences simply more sophisticated in the 1950’s, or what gives?

Eclipse audiences are reported to display the same giddy response that might result from Congress passing a balanced budget amendment with a term limit rider – or say, would accompany the announcement of the elusive, yet-to-be produced, truly effective, hair-re-growth product.

The most famous vampire personage, Count Dracula, based on the historical figure, Vlad the Impaler, was an intolerant, cruel tyrant who ran pointed poles about 3” in diameter through his victims with the entry point being "where the sun don’t shine". As the victims were raised on the skewer, the weight of their bodies sank them further down the pole, the top of which eventually emerged somewhere around the clavicle. Death was slow and excruciating.

It baffles me how the proponent of this process might inspire any sort of romantic entertainment without extensive artistic license and heavy editing. Granted, the lead actors are reputed to possess physical traits that most women admire, but let’s be frank, these guys are freaks and their bites carry the risk of rabies at best (via the werewolves) and could consign you to an eternally soulless journey to nowhere (via the vampires).

It’s all a good romp, of course, until you find you have to submit to a series of painful rabies shots to the abdomen or can no longer tell if you got the part in your hair straight because your image no longer reflects in a mirror. Logically, wouldn't movies be the logical vehicles for effectively communicating these important warnings to our young people? And we wonder why they end up as walking tattoo billboards and jewelry display cases.

Anyway, I’ll present the opportunity again. If anyone can explain what the appeal is of these vampire/werewolf story motifs I would be interested in hearing from you.

Apologies for re-using the graphic from a previous post, but Baby Daughter is working 9 hour days, 6 days a week now and can no longer serve as my Photoshop-savvy assistant.

Appliance-dependency Helplessness in Hawai’i

2010-06-29T21:03:00.011-10:00

In today’s headlines, the U.S. President continues to tout the “Recovery Summer”, while the most publicly-visible and influential Keynesian economist, Paul Krugman, upon whose analysis and opinions help drive the president’s economic stimulus policy, states that we’re at the beginning of a Third Depression (either to be long or great).

Perhaps to emphasize the point, the Dow Jones industrial average has dropped 428 points (4.2 percent) in the last four days, currently down 14.5 percent from its 2010 high in April. Investors appear to be choosing liquidity over capital investment. This sort of trend generally is taken as not a positive development for architects,

However, this is not my most preoccupying concern. The most vexing problem lately has been getting the laundry done.

Some months ago, various of my progeny and their family members, together with us, their parents, moved into one house to help manage reduced incomes resulting from the contracting private sector economy.

There are eight of us here. Several of us play soccer, some surf, one is a triathlete, training sometimes twice a day, and there is a one year old, and we generate dirty clothes regularly and efficiently. We used to do 2 or 3 washer loads a day, until our 7 month-old Maytag washer broke down in a noisy, grinding and ultimately, irritating, though non-agitating (if you know what I mean), way. That was 6 weeks ago.

Four weeks ago, the repairman came out to fix the washer. He took off the top and front panel to reveal at least part of the damage. Concrete rings around the front and back of the drum, presumably functioning as counterweights or stabilizers, were cracked and chipped. The repairman said he would order the replacement parts and call me when with the date they were expected to arrive.

He never called. After repeated calls to his number, I was told the part would arrive a week ago last Sunday. I called on Monday last. No answer. The next day, his receptionist told me the part was on factory back order and wouldn’t arrive until July 16.

Skipping many uninteresting steps. I called the factory. They located a distributor with the part. It arrived yesterday. There were no stabilizer rings. I’ve called twice to the repairman to ask how to proceed with repairs. Neither call has been returned yet. Week seven begins.

We live on an Island, 3,000 miles from the nearest continent. Obtaining certain goods has always been a patience-building exercise. Usually, we just tally it up as part of the price of Paradise. I don’t know how many more weeks must yet pass before our warranty-covered repairs are completed. Patience-building time and Paradise price inflation are both growing.

In the meantime, the local laundromat is prospering in the down economy from the many bags of dirty clothes we wash and dry there every week at no small cost of time and money (Paradise premium rates).

If only architects provided a service that had to be obtained every week…

Swimming in the Sky

2010-06-28T07:54:00.017-10:00

This seems an odd contrast to the state of the world economy right now, but it is spectacular.

Are those things up there trees growing out of a 55 story building?

Yes, they are.

The Marina Bay Sands development in Singapore with its infinity edge swimming pool raised 650 feet into the air was designed by Moshe Safdie, with the concept based on a a deck of cards.

A refreshing dip at the ol' swimming hole.

Safdie was the architect who designed Habitat '67, a prefab, modular building system of stacked cubicle-shaped units with openings between them to allow in light and air. The building was constructed for the 1967 Montreal Expo world's fair. As architecture students in the early 1970's,we studied this building as part of our design education.

Habitat '67, Montreal, Canada

Back to the Marina Bay Sands.

So much of our experience of the world now seems to have its origins in Walt Disney's imagineering approach to entertainment in the 1950's. Incongruity, illusion and gravity-defying effects that began in avant garde art in the early to mid-twentieth century have moved into the mainstream environs of daily life through technology.

From Circue du Soleil to CGI graphics in movies and television product ads, and now, more and more, the built environment physical reality is distorted, senses are confused and one's understanding of the place he occupies in the world is challenged.

As technology continues to overwhelm us with greater and greater levels of complexity and control over our lives, quality human relationships become that much more important to help anchor us in reality and serve as an affirming reminder of personal significance.

Click here for the Daily Mail source article and photos of other areas of the development.

Ride the Wild Slick

2010-06-27T11:47:00.004-10:00

Breaking wave at Orange Beach, Alabama, about 90 miles from the BP oil fountain and now a universe away from Surfers' Paradise.

Oil Slick Orange, the complementary color of Ultramarine Blue.

Sad times.

Advertising from My Formative Years

2010-06-25T08:33:00.005-10:00

Back in the day, ads carried quite different viewpoints than those currently in fashion...

Influential or not, somehow, most of my compadres still turned out okay.

Click here for a sample gallery.

Is This Really Necessary?

2010-06-24T06:11:00.004-10:00

The U.S., currently fighting in two undeclared wars in the Middle East, now has about a dozen warships being positioned in the Persian Gulf against Iran, presumably to be employed militarily in yet another conflict politicians have neither the will nor strategy for winning.

Senator Alan Simpson has said, viewable on video at youtube.com, that within the last month or so, the Social Security system started paying out more than it is taking in.

The Gulf of Mexico is being destroyed by oil and chemicals jetting out of the ocean floor at pressures that defy current technology’s capabilities to resist.

Joblessness and underemployment continue to weaken the economy and harm families’ abilities to manage themselves, while government “borrowing” reaches forward to enslave yet additional future generations under burdensome debt.

After adding another $3.1 trillion to the deficit, the economy is still faltering. Banks are failing at twice the rate of a year ago and the FDIC has used up its reserve funds.

In the face of this and other national problems of crisis proportions, the U.S. president has pushed for legislation to do what?

Create more walking paths and biking lanes. $1.2 billion dollars worth.

Setting aside whether or not this type of activity necessarily falls under the purview of the federal government, is this really the wisest utilization of resources by a government teetering on the brink of bankruptcy? Will this "investment" contribute to commerce and lasting growth in employment?

Perhaps this strikes others differently, but when I read of fiascos like this, I have to wonder if certain of our leaders are in touch with reality at all. My daughters, serving as babysitters in their early teen years, executed their duties far more responsibly.

Canada Makes Kona Newspaper Banner Headline

2010-06-22T19:50:00.005-10:00

Yesterday’s local newspaper, West Hawaii Today, featured the top headline: Oh, Canada! Nation’s Economy Suddenly the Envy of the World.

The story reports: “The 20 world leaders at an economic summit in Toronto next weekend will find themselves in a country that has avoided a banking crisis where others have floundered, and whose economy grew at 6.1 percent annual rate in the first three months of this year.”

The article particularly notes that, “there was no mortgage meltdown or subprime crisis in Canada. Banks don’t package mortgages and sell them to the private market so they need to be sure their borrowers can pay back the loans.”

Grrr! Lucky so-and-so’s, who could've ever thought of running banks like that?

“The banks are stable because, in part, they’re more regulated. As the U.S. and Europe loosened regulations on their financial industries over the last 15 years, Canada refused to do so.”

Well, yearh, if you're gonna cheat! How are U.S. banks supposed to compete with that?

“The banks also aren’t as leveraged as their U.S. or European peers.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and take a guess that Canadian banking system laws aren’t written by former Goldman Sachs executives now embedded in their nation's government.

“Our banks were better managed and we had better regulations,” says former Prime minister Paul Martin, the man credited with killing off a massive government deficit in the 1990’s when he was finance minister, leading to 12 straight years of budget surpluses.”

World leaders have noticed: President Barack Obama says the U.S. should take note of Canada’s banking system…”

Yeah, well, I wouldn’t recommend anyone holding his breath waiting for that to happen.

Happy Father's Day, Dad

2010-06-19T20:09:00.016-10:00

From humble beginnings in Sioux Falls to living in Europe to our graduations and careers, you and Mom provided us with so many good opportunities, experiences and great family memories, the cost of which I could only really appreciate years later.

Sometimes it may have felt like the world was on your shoulders, but you took it all in stride and made things good for the family. Only after years of fatherhood, myself, did I come to appreciate how exhausting that was for you, at times.

I think I shot this photo when you were 15 years younger than I am now. I remember being somewhat concerned that you bought a gas-powered push - rather than self-driven - lawnmower when you were turning 40, because I expected to be leaving home in a couple of years and without me around to cut the grass, wasn't sure you'd be okay with that. Forty seemed so old to me back then. Guess my worries were way misplaced. Oh, to be 40 again now, myself!

Thanks for setting a great example for me of being a good father, Dad. I love you.

Happy Father's Day!

When You Need to Rent (Soccer) Fans, Who Ya Gonna Call?

2010-06-18T21:14:00.004-10:00

Why, the Chinese, of course.

One of the stranger FIFA World Cup news stories to appear (so far) regards North Korea enlisting around a thousand PRC Chinese to pose as their “fans” during their soccer matches in South Africa.

Funny thing is, most of the Chinese who comprised the “fans volunteer army” knew next to nothing about soccer or the World Cup.

Evidently, the problem for the DPRNK was finding enough butts to fill their allocated seats at their games, butts that, presumably, could be trusted to return home at the end of the World Cup games. They managed to provide only a “group of 300 [who] had been carefully chosen by the North Korean Government.”

Being that the Norks were only able to “carefully select” 300 of their own people, they arranged for supplemental Chinese nationals to don the same red fan uniforms as their own people with the objective of providing support for their players.

You know, it has to be said, it’s bad enough when teams surreptitiously bring in ringers to play for them but when you have to fly in artificial fans, well, that that sets a new standard for the pathetic.

The London Evening Standard subject article reports, “Although they [DPRNK fan group] sang their national anthem loudly, the group tended only to cheer when directed by a man who stood before them like an orchestra’s conductor.”

Still, the Chinese were reported to be enjoying the games, cheering conductor and all. Can’t find any fault there. Lemons into lemonade: Wear a red uni and score free seats to a world class quadrennial sports event.

In a further botched attempt to endear North Korea to the world, the team’s “manager Kim Jong Hun rebuked a journalist for not using his country’s full name – Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea,” the same article reported.

Democratic People’s Republic, Banking Reform Bill... since when does a name of something have anything to do with accuracy of terms, anyway, right?

The saddest thing is, the North Koreans played decent soccer in their opener while losing to perennially strong Brazil by only one goal, and their back four defenders played very well together. You’ve got to give respect to the players. Obviously they’ve trained hard and have developed their skills, and playing in the shadow of an oppressive regime can’t be easy.

The Beautiful Game with the Annoying Sound

2010-06-15T08:33:00.006-10:00

If you've watched any of the FIFA World Cup games, you've had to listen to the constant background noise from the vuvuzela crowd competing with the commentators' description of the action.

The noise is relentless and is reported to be at 127 decibels (for comparison, a chainsaw in operation is about 100 decibels; a jet taking off is 130 if you were to be standing next to the engines).

For the uninitiated, here's a guide to proper use of the vuvuzela.

click on image to enlarge

Personally, I hate the blankety-blank things.

via

A Tie is as Good as a...Draw

2010-06-14T21:06:00.009-10:00

This would have been more timely on Monday, but I just saw this today.

I guess it's a cultural thing...

click on image to englarge

via

The Hidden Exposure of the Truth

2010-06-13T20:51:00.010-10:00

The catastrophic oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico is the most devastating ecological disaster in U.S. history, and the repercussions will likely be felt around the globe for years to come.

While it's no laughing matter, I'm posting this video because the interviewee seems to so closely mimic the defensive replies, rather than solutions, or at the least, a timely, coordinated, national response by government and industry. Avoiding blame seems to have been the paramount concern by those who self-identify as leaders upon whom the public might be expected to rely.

As you watch this, see if anything truthful can be identified behind the obtuse response to questions.

The Heroic and the Honorable

2010-06-11T20:39:00.007-10:00

Thoughts running through my head today…

Today, Friday, is nearly over. Today was King Kamehemeha Day in Hawaii, a state holiday commemorating the king who conquered all other Hawaiian kings and united the Hawaiian Islands as one nation.

King Kamehameha

Tomorrow morning, Hawaiian Standard Time, is the World Cup Football (soccer) match between England and the USA. It will be the first time in 60 years the two national teams have played each other in the World Cup. The host country for the quadrennial World Cup games this time is South Africa, a nation a half a world of time zones away from here.

Some of us in the family watched the movie, “Invictus” a couple of weeks ago. It is a very sanitized version of the story of how the South African national rugby team began to reconcile blacks and whites and unite the Rugby Championships host nation of South Africa during a time of great tension, shortly after Nelson Mandela became president.

History, as written by winners of wars, identifies as heroes, those who, often violently and through persistent use of bloody force, conquer their enemies and establish their subjugation. Sometimes this appears to work out for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes it seems the jury is still out on the effects of the outcome.

King Kamehameha accomplished an extraordinary goal and is honored as a hero today. Warfare during his reign was up close and personal. The defeat of foes was accomplished through stabbing, slicing, bludgeoning and crushing with low-tech, handmade, though very lethal, weapons in a style of fighting not much different from warfare from ancient times in Asia and Europe. Kamehameha’s achievement was accomplished by killing a lot of people.

“The Battle of Nu’uanu”, painting by Hawaiian artist, Herb Kane

Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years on charges of sabotage. He was leader of the military wing of the African National Congress (ANC). Violence was considered a necessary tool to overcome the established government’s policies and practices of apartheid, a system that precluded the black majority of South Africa from freely participating in the political, economic and social spheres of the nation.

Nelson Mandela

One tool of the ANC was necklacing. I remember seeing this atrocity on a cable TV news program in the 1980’s. The ANC would tie up anyone they felt was an enemy collaborator, lay him (or her) on the ground, put a car tire around his neck, fill it with gasoline and light it on fire which produced a horrifically slow and painful death. Winnie Mandela, Nelson’s wife, affirmed this as a necessary and defendable practice. I don’t know for sure whether Nelson gave public assent to its use or not, but his followers must have believed they had his tacit approval to do this. Eventually, the ANC and its allied organizations became victorious in their goal of ending apartheid and assuming political control of the nation as Nelson Mandela was elected president. He worked as president to achieve a multi-racial democratic government.

Tomorrow, if the US wins against England, the victorious players will be acclaimed, no doubt by some, as heroes of the game.

Team USA, 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa

If you were to ask a group of parents if they would wish their children to be courageous, chances are most would say yes. If however, you were to ask these same parents if they would wish for their children to be acclaimed as heroes by killing a lot of people, many might decline. Most would probably be quite happy if their children became “heroes” by winning an international competition as representatives of their nations.

We live in an imperfect world. Heroism can be an imperfect designation. Many of history’s heroes carried with them a lot of bloodguilt of the innocent to their graves. There is only One who is capable of judging them with perfect justice and mercy. Heroes win victories for their nations. True honor, though, can be hidden from human eyes, and might only be seen by the Lord.

I realize that my life benefits from the heroic actions of many people who have gone before me and that I am blessed to live in a country that still enjoys a lot of freedoms many others don't have. Still, I would rather have as my closest friends the honorable, than merely the heroic.

Will This Be on the Test?

2010-06-10T19:30:00.008-10:00

I can just imagine the father of the writer of the question on the notice below - "Ya know, you buy 'em books, you send 'em to school,..." (drops chin to chest and shakes head back and forth slowly)...

Click on image to enlarge

Actually, I miss the long-gone days of learning when my classes were full of guys always ready to respond to anything logical and important with an irrelevant tangential comment like the one above. Made the days more interesting.

h/t to lumberjack

Best Version in a Long, Long Time

2010-06-07T20:16:00.005-10:00

Couldn't pass on posting this. Talent-rich performers, evidence of lots of practice and absence of massive ego display.

The imagery is blurry but the sound quality is good.

I'd love to be able to sing this well when I'm six.............ty!

I Think I Found Your Problem Here

2010-06-06T22:01:00.002-10:00

The U.S. labor department released May employment figures last Friday. The government hired 431,000, mostly temporary, census workers. Private sector employment increased by just 41,000 jobs, a decrease in number from 218,000 in April.

Here’s the problem from my point of view as a professional and businessman:

Government jobs are characteristically regulatory. They don’t produce tangible consumer products, like food, housing, cars or appliances. These jobs generally do not contribute to an increase in the nation’s commerce; they actually subtract from it’s production potential, as regulatory jobs add to the cost of production, which must be paid for by the end-user, or consumer, as part of the product price.

That’s not to say that all government jobs are a waste of money. I believe there is a benefit, for example, in safe food and drug laws and their enforcement, assuming that this is taking place free from corrupting influences. Logically, people employed to oversee the safety of consumable products do add value to the products if they keep the products from poisoning us, yet these still are costs to be paid for and not products in and of themselves.

I do not believe that the more government we have, the better our lives become. Many government jobs are little more than political patronage positions useful to politicians for wielding greater political influence. We’ve had a U.S. Department of Education for over thirty years and educational achievement is worse than before it existed. I don’t see why we wouldn’t benefit from eliminating that multi-tens of billions of dollars department cost.

Government jobs are cost factors, not potential profit centers in terms of business. In business, when costs cause a desirable product to exceed the market value of the product, the product generally does not sell, business activity declines for that product item and people cannot be employed for it’s production. When too many products are priced beyond the market’s ability to purchase them, the economy declines. The bigger the government, the greater the regulation cost, and the higher the product end-user cost.

The U.S. government is already running an unimaginably huge deficit. Is it really in the best interests of the country to hire another 431,000 government employees when their costs (wages, benefits, offices and other operating expenses) must be paid for by taxes from another mere 41,000 producers (more than 10 to 1, “costers” to producers?)

There is a tipping point, the question is, are we there yet? I’ve said this before but, when the regulators overwhelm the producers, a country cannot be sustained economically any more than a healthy body can be sustained when the number of parasites overwhelm the host. Eventually, the death of both must result.

If I were in charge of things, at the very least, I would try to start eliminating Federal Departments of Round Pegs Into Square Holes instead of increasing their number. Increasing the cost and difficulty of producing consumer goods in this country is not a useful policy direction. Especially not if the goal is to increase the employment of producers.

The Keauhou Store

2010-06-01T20:09:00.015-10:00

If you look at a maps of the flatland, farming areas of the Midwest you’ll notice that towns are located an average of about 8 miles apart, sometimes a little closer or farther, but not much farther.

Towns were birthed in earlier times based on the distance a farmer could load up a wagon, hitch up his horse team and drive to town, unload his produce, buy supplies and return to his house in one day’s time. Overnight stays for farmers were often impractical for several reasons, one being the care of the livestock.

Here in Kona coffee growing country, there remain longstanding general stores at a much closer distance together, I’d say every two to three miles. They served the surrounding coffee farmers and field workers and their children. They are often located right at the old Mamalahoa highway edge of road, I’m guessing due to minimal regulation in pre-statehood Hawai’I, and as a practical response to the steep slope with rapid topographic drop-off.

These general stores resemble those of American frontier western towns of the latter half of the 19th century in that they are built of wood and often present a tall vertical facade in front of a pitched roof, usually double pitched, but sometimes a single-pitched shed roof.

I’ve driven by some of these buildings for years. Many had become quite deteriorated in appearance. Recently, restoration and refurbishment seems to be trending among at least some of the shop owners.

The Keauhou Store is one I’ve always particularly liked. The front facade features a stepped up parapet with radius corners at the height transitions, recalling the streamlining effects seen in buildings of the Art Moderne style popular, on the Mainland anyway, between the 1920’s and 1940’s.

The stepped facade follows the pitch of the roof behind with outer façade portions stretched out to emphasize horizontality (customary of A.M.) while allowing the higher central portion to create kind of a dwarf-ly “monumental” presence. This is an eclectic building. The facade above the porch roofs is smooth, as you would find characteristic of
Art Moderne examples, while the under-porch and side portions utilize the more rustic board and batten cladding.

You can see the drop-off from the road. This building is only about a mile to a mile and a half from the county’s water department offices and base yard. I suspect county water is now available. The rainwater catchment system may now serve as an irrigation source for nearby coffee trees or other farm crops.

The Keauhou store strives for a symmetry that might be more commonly seen in Neoclassical or Italian Renaissance styles, yet finally gives way to its utilitarian needs with the left side projection. In spite of its stylistic anomalies, there’s something unexplainably appealing about this building. I’m looking forward to its completed rehabilitation.

Also somewhat recently refurbished and about 7 miles northward is the K. Komo Store. The store appears to have been constructed, much like buildings going back ages, for commerce on the ground floor and the merchant’s living quarters above.

In both buildings, parking arrangements are left pretty much to the driver’s imagination. Four-wheel drive vehicles might find more parking options.

The K. Komo Store – Note the covered, raised boardwalk, another feature seen on some frontier town buildings.

Not sure the purpose of the top-forward projecting windows. Glare reduction, maybe? I believe these are a recent addition.

As always, click on any photo to view a larger image.

In Second Grade, We Learned to Knit

2010-05-28T21:59:00.003-10:00

I could push a pin through the starting point on the graph where the deplorable state of modern American education became personal.

Whereas pre-war America had operated under a consensus regarding the importance of thorough schooling in the “Three R’s” I grew up under the tutelage of the “new math” (intuitive math replacing logical math), social studies (replacing American history) and, rounding out the curriculum, knitting.

Digging through old piles of stuff recently, with the goal of tossing most of it, I ran across a piece I wrote as a second grade reporter for the school newspaper describing the progress our class had been achieving. Whoever typed it up must have corrected my spelling and cleaned up the syntax because this far exceeded my capabilities at the time.

From the March 30, 1961 edition of the West Viewer:

In our room we have been studying about wind. We have found material in our science books we had at home and in library books.

We saw some movies and strip films and listened to some special radio programs. In class we tried some of the experiments we saw in the films and some we found in the books. We were to try an experiment at home, then write up the results and bring the paper back to school.

We used several kinds of thermometers, hot water, ice cubes and fans. When those of us that tried an experiment about evaporation are able write up the experiment we will finish reading our reports to the class. Some of us had to wait several days for the evaporation experiment. We found out that a larger opening on a jar or pan can speed up evaporation.

We have been weaving and knitting in our room. We took turns using the looms and helped one another. Some of us put designs on our mats. After we finished a mat, Miss Bennett said she would teach us to knit if we wanted to learn knitting.

We practiced on some small lengths of yarn. Now we have started scarves for ourselves. Guy C----- has made a scarf and sent it to a friend in England for a birthday gift. He made a nice design by using two colors of yarn. Michael F-----, Donna M-----, Phyllis T----- and Andy W----- have finished their scarves.

Now some of us are making slippers. Carla P------ and Michael F----- have almost finished with their slippers.

Miss Bennett puts the stitches on for us and now we do most of our knitting at home. Miss Bennett picks up the dropped stitches before classes start in the morning, at recess, and after school. We are keeping her and her mother busy doing the crocheting part at home. Some of us can do spool knitting.

After Miss Bennett teaches some of us, we try to teach someone else so that Miss Bennett can have time to cast on stitches for someone else to start another piece of work. –Miss Bennett’s 2nd grade

That was my report, published on legal size paper in purple mimeograph ink. The story was buried on page 4, I believe because reports of other events going on at the school were judged to be more noteworthy than a tally of knitting accomplishments by Miss Bennett’s second grade class.

How to Choose a Career

2010-05-27T19:15:00.010-10:00

Sometime during my senior year in high school, each of we students were told to write out our intended occupations, what we planned to do after graduation.

I had absolutely no career direction at the time. I had always viewed becoming competent at something and making a living as distant future situations.

My friend, Darron, had suggested to me that a couple of good career possibilities were, 1.) shepherd and 2.) organ grinder. I gave some thought to his recommendations and agreed they were not bad choices, so those are what I wrote down.

Shepherding seemed like honest work and not overly demanding, except, I reasoned, when you might have to pull a double shift if your reliever calls in sick. Shepherds often fared better than most others in the Bible. God seemed to favor them. Moses was a shepherd. King David started out as a shepherd. Jesus is the Good Shepherd. God sent the angels to shepherds to first announce Jesus’ birth…

On the other hand, if you were a professional organ grinder you got to have a monkey, which also counted as a business deduction on your taxes. I had never seen very many organ grinders around so I supposed the market wasn’t over-supplied with them. Image in the field seemed to be paramount, though. Could I grow the requisite mustache to be able to pull off the full effect? Probably not for another year or so, I concluded.

Having been lying in bed off and on over the past few days trying to get over this cold that invaded my sinuses, eyes, ears, throat and chest, I’ve been musing over my career choice and path.

It's never been a secret that I drifted into architecture sideways, starting off studying something else. One of my instructors told me he thought I should go into architecture. Really?, I thought, well…er, uh, yeah, okay…, I guess.

And that was about it. I made the change and continued through school, spent a few summers working construction, graduated, got my first architecture job, and then another, and on and on until finally becoming my own boss almost eleven years ago.

My 40th year high school reunion is next year. I made the 10th and 25th but couldn't make the 5,000 mile trip from Hawai'i to the others. I’ve been wondering this week how many of my former classmates made their career decisions thoughtfully and deliberately versus how many just wandered into a path, as I did. I wouldn’t mind listening to some of them tell their stories on the subject.

Incidentally, my classmate, Darron, chose to become a medical doctor and work as a research scientist at a major university, which was probably a good career choice. I doubt that either shepherding or organ grinding could have matched the benefits of his current position.

50 Years After the Hilo Tsunami

2010-05-25T19:30:00.010-10:00

I’m a little behind here, fighting off a cold and lacking energy. but...

Sunday marked the 50th anniversary of the 1960 tsunami, which devastated Waiakea town (a town section of Hilo) along Kamehameha Avenue and the Hilo bay front. Where once stood houses and businesses there is now a wide, open-space buffer, including park areas and the soccer fields all of my children played on in inter-island competitions while growing up.

The tsunami collapsed house against house as it rushed up the slope of the town. Sixty one people perished. Waiakea Town was condemmed and deeded over to the state.

Hilo, the County of Hawaii government headquarters, is on the windward coast (opposite side from Kona) of the Big Island, the Island of Hawai’i.

On February 27 of this year, our family woke up to tsunami warning sirens, due to earthquake-generated concerns) here in Kona. Condominiums along the shore were evacuated, businesses were closed and nearly everyone moved up the slopes of Hualalai as a precaution

Down the road from where we live, a group set up a few shade tents right off the highway on the edge of a precipice, along with tables, chairs, coolers and barbecue grills to watch the big one hit about a thousand feet lower and a mile away. We watched for it while attending a house blessing event at 600 feet elevation and a clear view of the coastline about ½ mile down slope.

The anticipated tsunami never arrived, thankfully. The drama far exceeded the event. This was a good thing, in spite of the potential for producing cynicism in some people from, yet another, “false” alarm. As the Hilo tsunami demonstrated, it’s important to be vigilant and responsive to warnings. Complacency can become fatal along the island coastline.

Click here to read one survivor's recent recollection of the 1960 Waiakea-Hilo Tsunami.

10,000 Days Below the Volcano

2010-05-23T07:58:00.005-10:00

This last week we passed the 10,000th consecutive day of volcanic activity on the Big Island. Eruption activity began January 3, 1983.

Here’s a time-elapsed clip of minor activity occurring at Halemaumau crater on a day the trade winds were blowing.
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Video clip used with permission by EfrankE

Most of the flowing lava comes out of the side of Mauna Loa. The volcano has overlaid old lava with new, destroyed homes and forest land, closed a main road with lava and even extended the cliffs of the island a little farther out into the sea, but mostly it has produced a lot of steam and gas emissions. Note: The banner photo at the top of this page is a shot of Hualalai Mountain, a dormant volcano which separates us from the actively volcanic south-eastern part of the island.

The output of sulfur dioxide varies from 200 tons to 2,000 tons per day. It acidifies the rain, at times, to the detriment of Big Island crops. When molten lava flows into the ocean the sulfur dioxide combines with the seawater to form steam clouds of hydrochloric acid. It’s good to avoid the area on those days.

It’s always more pleasant in Kona when the trade winds are blowing, sending the vog (volcanic version of smog) southward and out into the Pacific. In the summer, Kona winds prevail much of the time and bring the vog northward along the leeward coast, spoiling otherwise pleasant views.

The long-term health effects of breathing air with a high concentration of sulfur dioxide for 27 years are still unknown, though not expected to be beneficial.

It’s For the Children

2010-05-20T21:50:00.006-10:00

It’s tough starting a new business in the current economic climate. Our research suggests that tapping into parental insecurity, competitiveness and, in may cases, guilt remains a potent marketing force not yet fully exploited by industry supermarket stand periodicals (last stop along the impulse sale trail).

Some time ago my “son and only” came up with a magazine idea that seems destined for every preschooler’s mother’s nightstand reading pile. We believe we’ll still be the first to enter this sub-market sub-niche. With the summer solstice arriving next month (northern hemisphere only, condolences, Australia), we feel the timing couldn’t be better.

Actually, the whole idea was my son’s and he’ll be doing most of the work. I’m just tagging along for encouragement and profits. I’ve tried hard to pass along to him everything I’ve learned about business. You’ll note from the photo the essential tools I’ve emphasized - serious demeanor; upright posture; conservative, navy blue suit; red power tie; gum-soled wingtips - it’s all there.

He got off to a slow start and the entire operation is still being run out of his briefcase but recently he has gotten a head. He decided to go with his guts because corporate headhunters charge outrageous fees for bringing in a CEO. There was a wide selection of CEO's available on e-bay at very reasonable prices. He went with the cheapest (figure at middle right in photo) to keep overhead down, which so far, he’s doing. Being especially compact, our CEO can fly for a $25 baggage charge to most destinations.

Magazine issues are expected to appear semi-annually, at first. The winter issue will carry a special insert for markets in Arctic Lapland, Siberia, and much of Canada featuring topics such as “Selecting the Right Artificial Light Array for Your Child to Stare At During the 6 Dark Months” and “Comparing Videogame Screen Backlights – You’ll Be Surprised Which tested out for Optimum Radiation Benefit.”

This will probably end my previous part-time, fill-in work, advice giving, since I won’t have time for 2 extra jobs. Plus, there’s just too much free advice available out there and the market for my services faces relentless competition from other opinionated people. Never saw that coming.

This, though, has to be a sure-fire winner.

The Hair Up There

2010-05-18T19:25:00.016-10:00

It had been three to four weeks, so today it was time for another haircut. I’m still trying to resolve the cognitive dissonance that occurs by looking at my reflection uninterruptedly for twenty minutes, or so. My mind cannot seem to accept that what’s in front of me isn’t some kind of distorting, carnival mirror that stretches the width of the reflected image.

My barberette was in true form:

She: “Your hair’s gotten long this time.”

I: “Think I should go for the Mohawk?”

She: Manages polite, yet undoubtedly fake, smile with no comment.

I: “Okay, then what about a Faux-hawk?”

We finally settled on a No-hawk, which closely resembles “The Usual.”

To help attach an increase in status to the style that has become my last stop along the hairstyle option spectrum before the “Michael Jordan” terminus, henceforth "The Usual" will be re-named after former University of Hawaii, and now SMU, head football coach, June Jones.

In the future, when, or more probably, if my barberette ever again asks me how I want it, I’m going to request the “June Jones.” That’s June Jones, not June Cleaver, got it?

The "June Jones" (formerly, a.k.a, the "No-Hawk")

The "June Cleaver" (not recommended for most men)

The "Michael Jordan" (a.k.a. the "Hair Graveyard")

You Get What You Pay For…

2010-05-17T20:31:00.003-10:00

…after that you must hire an Attorney to get someone else to pay for what you wished for.

Every now and then, someone comes along who can reveal the big picture in the most cogent way. Today, enlightenment is provided by subcontractor/business owner, Pete Battisti, commenting on the faster, cheaper, better expectations of building project owners, particularly as the process is likely to occur more and more in a dog-eat-dog recession economy.

“In most cases, owners get what they pay for and sometimes more than they bargain for when they select the low or unqualified bidder, and it all starts at the drawing process and continues:

--Owner hires low bid architect, possibly unqualified.

--Owner hires low bid general contractor, possibly unqualified.

--GC hires low bid subcontractors, possibly unqualified.

--Owner enters into contract with GC.

--GC enters into contracts with subcontractors.

--All contracts are written to limit the owner’s liability.

--All subcontracts are written to limit the owner’s and GC’s liability.

--All contracts require special endorsements from subcontractors protecting (defending) the owner and the GC.

--All contracts are written with “no” payment guarantees.

Construction begins

Project is completed.

--Owner is not happy because the job took too long to build, had cost overruns, and was not up to the quality that was expected.

--Law firms clean up the legal issues through litigation and or arbitration.

--Insurance companies settle liability claims.

Project complete."

Battisti summarizes: “If everyone really wants projects built faster, cheaper and better, why isn’t there a delivery method that achieves this goal?

“Why isn’t there a vaccination for cancer, or for that matter the common cold? Why don’t cars get 300 miles per gallon of gas? Why can’t we stop illegal aliens or street drugs from entering our borders? Why have we become a consumer country rather than a producing country?

“The simple answer is, there is more money in the treatment than in the cure in the short term.”

And that, for those who are paying attention to the recent machinations of international finance, is also why the foundational causes of the dire problems that most of the economies in the world today are experiencing are not being properly rectified.

Sharp vision is essential for those working at the front end of the food chain in a shark’s world. Pete Battista has flipped on the light switch and adjusted the focus.

Princess Ka’iulani

2010-05-16T20:25:00.003-10:00

Familiarity with anything more than a few facts regarding the history of Hawai’i is a rarity among the vast majority of non-Hawai’i born residents of our state.

Still, anyone who has connected at all with Hawaii’s people and culture knows generally about the armed takeover of the Kingdom of Hawai’i and its annexation to the U.S., led by American and English businessmen in the last decade of the 19th century.

The movie, “Princess Ka’iulani,” portrays the story of one of Hawai’i’s last royal heiresses in line to the throne, from childhood to young adult, as she experienced the circumstances of that period. Historical events, instead of providing the narrative, play out in the background.

Memorable in the film is the depiction of the legitimate rulers of the constitutional monarchy. Faced with the realization that it is outside of their nation’s power to physically resist the takeover, the royal rulers choose to act with humble dignity, wisdom, faith and courage to preserve the identity and place of the Hawaiian people.

A good movie, in my opinion, is one that lasts no more than 90 minutes, or so, which is the case here. Beyond that criterion, the film is a well-crafted presentation. There are no wow-factor, CGI scenes and only one explosion, but the acting is good, the cinematography not bad at all and the deliberate pacing allows the story to develop coherently. Additionally, you can watch this entertainment with grandparents or younger children without concern for embarrassing language or subject matter that will leave you ill-at-ease.

I recommend the movie for having qualities similar to “Chariots of Fire,” if you can recall that movie from the early 1980’s. In both films, the directors set out to make a good movie without spending tens of millions of dollars by focusing on plot, character development and conflict resolution.

Perhaps the movie will be found to be more meaningful to those who live here in the historical after-path (to coin a term) of the events portrayed, but I believe many others will find the movie a rewarding experience, as well. Not being a major studio production, it probably won’t be in theater release for very long. Before it disappears, try to see it.

Chinese Dogs Sent into Space for What?

2010-05-15T21:01:00.003-10:00

In 1957, Laika the dog was launched into space orbit by the Soviets, blazing a path for human spaceflight. Today, the Chinese regularly launch dogs into space with their own astronauts.

There is a notable difference in the designated role of the dog between the two space programs. The Soviets sent Laika into orbit primarily to determine whether humans could survive weightlessness in space.

The Chinese send dogs, or as they are widely known in the western world, Man’s Best Friend, into space as part of a healthy breakfast, or whatever meal they are consumed as a menu item.

The UK Telegraph reports that Former astronaut and China’s first man in space, Yang Liwei, commander of the Shenzhou five 2003 space mission explains in his autobiography, The Nine Levels Between Heaven and Earth, “Many of my friends are curious about what we eat [in space] and think that the astronauts must have some expensive delicacies, like shark’s fin or abalone. Actually we ate quite normal food, there is no need to keep it a secret.”

One item that stands out on the listed menu of normal items includes dog meat, specifically, the type sourced in Huajiang County in Guangdong, which is esteemed in China for its nutritional benefits. Not significantly, dog shared the menu on day three of Liwei's mission with baby cuttlefish casserole and eel with green pepper.

Hope I’m not making everyone too hungry to read to the end of this post.

To capsulize, somebody in the Chinese space program made the decision that shark fin was too extravagant for space missions, but dog as a nutritious, yet familiar, comfort food would contribute to the fitness and focus of the astronauts in the performance of their mission, and that there is no need to keep this a secret. Tough call, but you gotta just trust the experts in these things.

Does this post have a point, you ask? Well, no, not a very strong one, other than, it can help make some sense of things to view people and their activities in their cultural context. That, and the term “puppy chow” might lose a lot in translation depending on how good the foreign language dictionary is that you might be relying on.

A few years ago here in Kona, while waiting to pick up baby girl from middle school, a ten or eleven year-old girl passed my car while walking her pet Vietnamese pot-bellied pig on its leash. I watched the two of them stroll down the sidewalk until they turned the corner. disappearing from sight. In some (probably only non-gated) subdivisions in Kona, domesticated pigs may be kept as pets. Doesn’t keep me from eating bacon, though.

One of my Filipino buddies here always claimed he had the best recipe for cat. He remained tight lipped about giving up the family recipe, but he did let slip that the secret lay in the ginger. I’ve never personally tasted it at any cookouts or potlucks as far as I’m aware, … maybe, though. He did mention it tasted pretty much like, what was it again? Oh, yeah, cat.

Resolving the Real Men vs. Quiche Controversy

2010-05-13T20:10:00.016-10:00

Back in the early 1980’s, Reader’s Digest published excerpts from a book entitled, Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche. The title / statement / opinion insinuated that no manly-type male would ever eat something soft and gummy, like quiche, when instead he could choose to rip into more rugged table fare, like steak or pork chops. Sadly, publication of the article unleashed far-reaching repercussions on the unsuspecting male public.

The book’s title quickly became a slogan of masculine reaffirmation, which, paradoxically, if not naturally, opened up a whole new set of opportunities for humiliation by one’s male peers.

The year the book came out I was playing on a Kona men’s league softball team. A fielding error often led to being called a “quiche-eater,” the implication being that only a squishy, overly-sensitive man like a Phil Donohue, or an Alan Alda, would have missed such an easy play, or perhaps that the fielder must have forgotten to bring his manhood along that day. The accusation usually developed like something along these lines:

“Aaaah! Quiche-eater!

“Who’re you calling a quiche-eater?”

“You, who else? Only a quiche-eater would miss an easy out like that!”

“Oh, yeah? What makes you the expert?

“I’m the captain, the titular head of the team!”

“You’re a titular head, all right!”

“YOU’RE the titular head.”

“No, YOU are!”

“That’s what I said!”

“Okay, then!”

Eventually, quiche-related criticism would wane and play would resume until the next unforgivable error.

I’m sure you can grasp how formative life lessons like this can leave a man apprehensive about ever being caught eating, let alone making, quiche. However, since my masculine self-identity is feeling quite invincible at the moment, I will unflinchingly confess to both.

Yeah, you heard right, I’m admitting it! I made a quiche as a gift for my wife for Mother’s Day. I was in need of some sort of gesture to show appreciation for the five ~~pups~~ kids she popped out. I knew she liked quiche. The rest of us have learned to eat it. Helpfully, she brought home all of the necessary ingredients from the grocery store so that I wouldn’t have to leave the family ~~kennel~~ compound on a special trip to town.

Flowers and a Hallmark card with supplementary, handwritten, emotive sentiments would have been the easy way out, of course. My gift was a much more creative, personal, and quite possibly more-economical, expression of love and appreciation.

I assume, my well-contemplated gift was blissfully received and will reap handsome dividends, relationship-wise, for the near term. I should probably ask though, just to make sure.

Here’s the recipe source. Incidently, don’t worry if all the bacon pieces fall to the bottom. I found out ex post facto that’s to be expected. Also, you may want to use the fancier French cheese (as far as I know, we’re still back on friendly terms with the French) instead of the thriftier Kraft-brand Swiss cheese that I used. I used heavy whipping cream in place of creme fraiche.

Men, you might want to take a shot at this. The recipe is pretty easy and women seem to savor the results. Importantly, almost nobody uses “quiche-eater” as a derogatory expression anymore. In fact, the term has almost passed from the collective male memory, possibly due to resigned acceptance of the U.S. Department of Defense's “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" policy, or maybe from pressure brought to bear on the media from quiche industry-aligned politicians and interest groups.

Whatever the reason, today it’s become possible for real men and quiche to co-exist peacefully to a degree unimaginable a mere three decades ago.

In Mayberry? Now I’ve Heard Everything!

2010-05-12T18:55:00.012-10:00

Longtime friend and former Kona resident, Steve, now settled in North Carolina, sends back this headline from The Mt. Airy News: Establishment for Adults Only Eyed in Mt. Airy.

The town of Mt. Airy, NC was the inspiration for fictional town, Mayberry, the setting for the Andy Griffith Show. Mt. Airy was Griffith’s hometown. It likely would have become a decaying rural remnant of the past had the town not gained a second life attracting rube tourists who are enticed into experiencing a commercialized simulation of early 1960’s Mayberry. I was a visitor there in 2001.

Steve, summarizes, “The folks in town think that a new night club opening out on the highway is going to be a str1p club because the owner put up a sign out front with a woman with her leg around a brass pole.”

Optimistically, he continues, “Personally, I think it will probably be a school for women firemen.”

Makes sense to me. Some firemen like to play pool to relax. It's logical that firewomen would find relaxation in the same activity, right? Plus, Steve, a media specialist and university instructor, has not only been long-immersed in regional sign traditions but also holds a master’s degree in Appalachian culture, so I’m leaning heavily on his analysis.

Let us all hope he’s right. If it’s the alternative possibility, it’ll be another nail in the coffin containing my treasured, childhood TV memories.

Thanks for the heads-up, Steve. Please keep us apprised of any further Mt. Airy and/or firewomen-related developments.

"You got to nip it! Nip it in the bud!"

Mother’s Day Post, Addendum

2010-05-10T17:22:00.006-10:00

The woman who bore me adds enriching detail to the experience of my birth (from her side; my recollection’s unreliably vague):

(front, left to right: Mike'itect, his mother; back row: other people)

"Back then, the hospital personnel were surprised at my request to have the scene photographed. It’s just too bad that you are pictured so far in the background, however, with a head the shape of a watermelon and one eye swollen shut, perhaps it was for the best.

"Six weeks later, I worked evenings [as a nurse – ed.] at the hospital and saw my [delivery] doctor. He then confessed, 'I probably should have done a Caesarean Section.' I thought to myself, Ya, think? Duhhhhh…

"He was probably trying to decide what to do … as he sat in my labor room while he should have been teaching a class and/or going home.

"While laboring in la-la land, I lay wondering why he was always in my room, especially when he had told me months before that I would have no trouble because, 'You’re as big as a cow!' (Oh, Doc, you probably say that to all your patients.)"

To use refereeing terms, it’s unlikely any doctor today would place himself in the precarious position of admitting he called a bad game. I have to conclude that, as the hours passed, the doctor was concerned enough about either my mother or me to remain personally vigilant.

Hard to believe my mom didn’t experience Post-Delivery Stress Disorder every time she looked at me. The sufficiency of God’s grace.

To Mom on Mother's Day

2010-05-09T00:07:00.009-10:00

Sorry about the 40 hours of labor.

Reckon I must'a camped out along the way & drug my heels some toward the end o' the trail.

Were all hospitals back then this bright and cheery, or were we just lucky?

Glad I lost the watermelon head. Bet you are too.

Many thanks for birthing me. I like to think it made the world a better place.

Lord Jesus bless you, Mom. Have a happy Mother’s Day!

Love,
Me (or I, whichever is thought today by most experts to be grammatically correct)

Looks like I pulled on my own boots the day of the photo. Mostly always was independence-minded, 'less'n I needed t' borry a dollar or two.

Randy’s First Resume

2010-05-07T20:49:00.008-10:00

What did YOUR first resume look like?

Graduating from architecture school during the years of the Carter recession, I found the prospects of obtaining first-job professional-employment with a skimpy resume about as promising as trying to separate the fly droppings from the pepper.

A young graduate that our Midwestern office hired in the early ‘nineties, Randy T., went through a similar experience. He once noted that if he had been completely honest about his qualifications, his first resume would have looked like this:

RANDY T--------

309 E. John Street

Champaign, Illinois 61820

(217) --- ----

OBJECTIVE:

To obtain the position for which I am applying.

SCHOOL:

University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign

Degree: Master of Architecture

Graduation Date: May, 1993

Degree: B.S. Architectural Studies

Graduation Date: May, 1990

PLACES I’VE WORKED:

Barracco’s Pizzaria, Evergreen Park, IL

- Delivered pizzas really fast.

- Got some awesome tips from some rich dudes.

- Managed to control my temper when I got stiffed.

Sportmart, Orland Hills, IL

- Wore a tie to work every single day.

- Put sporting goods on the shelves for people to buy.

- Was never more than 7-1/2 minutes late to work.

- Did not stare at the babes trying on shoes in the shoe department.

Southwest Pet Shop, Bridgeview, IL

- Could catch up to 14 goldfish in one swoop of the net.

- Mopped the whole floor at least 5 times a day.

- Counted change real good.

- Could carry over 100 lbs. of dog food at a time – impressed the delivery guys.

ACTIVITIES:

- Collect frogs and some lizards.

- Go fishing whenever someone will take me on his boat.

- Sleep in real late on some Saturdays.

- Cut the lawn before my dad gets pissed.

- Go driving around late at night to find toads breeding in ditches.

- Sneak in U-turns when there’s no cops around.

- Stick sleeping people’s hands in warm water and laughing as they pee their pants.

- Ate 13 White Castle burgers for lunch once.

REFERENCES:

- Dad (not when he’s in a bad mood, though)

- Mom

- Faith, my sister

- Grandma D-----

- Grandma T--------

- Grandpa T--------

- Michelle, my girlfriend

Long story short, we hired him. Not on the basis of this resume (which we hadn’t yet seen), of course, but the strength of his padded one was, if not compelling, much more impressive - to architects, anyway (probably not as much to herpetologists).

I haven’t seen Randy in 15 years. I’m sure he’s found success. He told me once that, back when he worked at the pet shop, he personally taste-tested all the brands of dry dog food. Otherwise, he explained, he couldn’t have honestly told the customers which one was the best.

And, of course, honesty is how you get ahead in the world.

Back on Track

2010-05-05T19:10:00.003-10:00

Just a quick report here noting that I did remember to wear pants to the gym this time. Had anyone there today noticed that Monday I had forgotten to cover the worn spandex? Hard to say. I did encounter a few uncomfortable looking smiles, but that's not unusual for me, even under normal circumstances.

Before leaving this afternoon, as I was tying the drawstring of my shorts I noticed that the waist seemed saggy. Man, looks like I'm losing some serious weight on my new year's eating plan, I thought. Finally!

With anticipation running high, I stepped on the scale for a more quantitative measure of my success. Huh?!... I tried zeroing out the scale and stepping on it again.

Sadly, I've gained about 10 pounds. The science is still being reviewed but preliminary analysis indicates that apparently both the scale and the bathroom mirror are accurate, and the worn waist-band elastic on my shorts is the factor skewing the expected results.

So, the good news today is that I left the house fully dressed per plan. The bad news is I was deceived by shelf-life-expired elastic into thinking I had successfully achieved a portion of targeted weight loss.

For any of you who are genetically predisposed to be slender and cannot find empathy in the situation, it is analogous to placing an order from Amazon on December 22 and receiving it on December 24, only to discover that instead of the i-pad you ordered, they shipped you a plastic three-ring binder. Or something close to that.

Pant-less in Kona

2010-05-04T06:06:00.004-10:00

Back in college, one of my friends asked if anybody else had ever had that dream where you’re walking along and you suddenly realize you’re naked. An alternate version of the dream is where you find yourself in public in just your undershorts, like you forgot to get dressed before going out.

I was thinking, “Ever?!” Of course! It was in my top four most frequent dream themes, along with the ones where you can’t remember where you parked your car, or you’ve got a final exam (or semester project due) and realize you’ve forgotten to attend that class all semester, or you’re back in high school and can’t remember your locker number (or locker combination). Failed memory seems to be a robust theme in my less-pleasant dreams.

Anyway, back to the first paragraph – yesterday, that dream became prophetically fulfilled.

Late in the afternoon, I had driven to the gym, parked the car, bar-coded in with my pass, stretched out and was in the middle of my second set of chin-ups, when I noticed from the mirror on the opposite wall, that I had forgotten to put on my outer shorts.

I was wearing (this, usually sub-surface, for me) a faded pair of spandex compression shorts, extensively worn out in the seat from cycling, which, I suppose on some younger, more athletic-looking physical specimen would have caused little alarm, perhaps even admiration. Realizing my workout was abruptly over, I retreated to my car while trying to present a confident “Yeah, I dressed like this on purpose,” false facade.

When I arrived home, baby girl met me on the lanai asking if, instead of her going, I could go pick up beloved wife, whom I had dropped off on my way to the gym, with the assurance that I’d be staying there late to try to get in two days worth of workout. Naturally, she was surprised to see me so soon.

Wife: “Did you change your mind about going to the gym?”

I: “No, I went. I just came back because I forgot to wear pants.”

Wife: “I noticed you were only wearing the spandex.”

I: “You could have mentioned it.” Sheesh! What does she think wives are for, anyway!

Wife: "I thought that was just your new look. How could you forget to wear pants?”

I: “Well, there’s just so much to have to remember!”

Wife remained wisely silent.

I: “Okay, that did sound a little weak.” On a day when you forget to put on your pants before going out, there’s a low-probability chance that you, extemporaneously, anyway, will be able to come up with any kind of excusable reason for having done so.

Wife: “People work out in just spandex shorts.” She went on to cite son-in-law number two, who works out in spandex shorts.

I: “Son-law-number two is a competitive tri-athlete who weighs 50 pounds less than I at roughly the same height.”

Wife: “Well, at least you have something to write about in your blog.”

Small comfort, and this from someone who rarely reads my blog posts anyway, which, makes her like about 98% of everyone else I know.

In my defense, I had spent much of today trying to figure out the right fee to charge as part of our proposal for the first design job of its kind to come our way in years, and then kicking numbers around with my partner over the phone. I was still pondering our proposal on the way to the gym, present physically, absent mentally practically the whole time.

Jobs like this one we’re trying to win have become rare around here in the new economy As my partner says, each job that comes along is like a crumb that falls to the floor, which is immediately swarmed by 15 ~~cockroaches~~ architects. The trick is to submit a proposal that’s competitive enough to win the job but not so low that you wind up at the end working for nothing just to be able to complete the project and finish out the contract.

During tough times, it’s reasonable to expect that the architects who remember to wear pants have at least one leg up on the competition. For good measure, I should probably borrow beloved wife’s lipstick and write on the vanity mirror: GOT PANTS? – maybe tape a note on the dashboard too.

SPAM – It’s What’s for Breakfast!

2010-05-02T12:58:00.016-10:00

It is truly unfortunate that whoever coined the term for unwanted email decided on the word “spam”. Why couldn’t he have chosen a more unsavory food name for the usage, perhaps “liver and onions” or “Brussels sprouts,” a.k.a. “little green balls of death,” as described by one fellow blogger? SPAM should connote something deserving of respect.

SPAM, the food-stuff, as produced by Hormel, is the combined product of shoulder pork and ham. It was introduced into the Hawaiian Islands as a military food supply for troops stationed here during the Second World War and was rapidly accepted into the local cuisine. It enjoys an esteemed reputation here in the Hawaiian Islands. Some national, fast-food chain franchises here sell it from their breakfast menus. Rice, of course, accompanies nearly everything, at every meal, locally.

In recognition of the prized position SPAM has earned in Hawaii, and in emulation of various food blogs, today, I’ll be revealing, with commentary, the recipe for my…

SPAMBLED EGGS & RICE SUNDAY BREAKFAST

STEP 1. Push aside enough countertop clutter for prep space (Non-bachelors skip to next step).

STEP 2. Figure out how many people are likely to be out of bed in time for breakfast and select appropriate size of rice cooker. Today, based on an estimated head count of four, I decided to go with the pee-wee.

STEP 3. Measure out rice and wash out dirt and anything else that may have managed to penetrate rice container defenses. Set pan of drained rice, with clean water, in cooker.

STEP 4. Start rice cooker first – important, since the rice will take longer than other items to cook.

STEP 5. Take a big swallow of coffee, because your hands are soon going to get messy.

STEP 6. Check date on bottom of SPAM can. If expired, deposit contents into dog’s bowl. If okay, pull tab on easy-opening top and remove. Turn carton upside down and shake out contents, which we will henceforth accurately refer to as SPAM. Personal observation and rhetorical question: Could you even ask for food to come out leaving its container more clean? And look! Hormel figured out how to get rid of that unappetizing, gloppy, gelatinized residue that used to always be there.

STEP 7. Cut SPAM into ¼” thick slices. Use slicing thickness guide on back of can if necessary. Expect shrinkage to occur during frying.

STEP 8. Brown both sides of SPAM slices in non-stick pan on medium heat. I start the first batch on a very light film of olive oil spray to prevent burning. Look for golden brown color on underside, then flip. It is the caramelization that gives SPAM its full flavor.

STEP 9. Trim off edges of slices and cut into perfect ¾” square tiles (within 1/8” tolerance). You may not care about being this precise, but, as an architect, I like to perform at a certain level of geometric exactitude in my food component preparation whenever possible. The trimmings, seen on the upper right, go into a bag for later use on critical occasions as an incentive in bribing obedience from the dog.

DISCLOSURE: I forgot to make the rice first so, while waiting for the cooker to do its job, I killed time by building a SPAM tower. Collapse appeared imminent and, indeed, structural failure quickly followed with eccentric loading as the probable cause.

Hindsight is easy, of course, but it’s less necessary to play with your food if you start the rice first.

STEP 10. Pour raw, scrambled eggs into pan, cook until safely dry. Add SPAM squares and melt in some shredded Mexican cheese. Those attempting to gain weight may prefer to use 100% Wisconsin cheddar. This main course also can be easily supplemented with ready-to-bake cinnamon rolls.

STEP 11. Remove SPAMbled eggs from heat, serve with customary two scoops rice on compartmentalized paper plate in local eatery fashion. Chopsticks are traditionally used, but I frequently employ the use of a fork, since it produces a higher success/attempt ratio of moving food to mouth. You can experiment to find out which works better for you, particularly when no one is watching.

This high protein, high fat, morning meal would be perfect for providing the energy required for a day’s expedition out on the ice in Antarctica. I, however, use it as fortification for a day of lying in the sun on the beach.

SPAM – not unlike sugar-laden, grain-based, commercially-boxed cereals - it’s part of a healthy breakfast.

Conversations with My Barberette

2010-04-30T08:01:00.008-10:00

Photo from better hair times...

Some time ago, in another place, my hair limitations started becoming evident.

Woman hair stylist: So, how do you want it this time?

I: Make me look like a movie star.

Woman hair stylist: (After studying me with pensive frown) Hmmm,…Gene Hackman okay?

For the last ten or so years, I’ve been getting my hair cut by a different woman. She’s a trained, experienced hair stylist too . Styling seems too grandiose a term for what is possible with the hair I can now offer to work with, so I simply refer to her as my barberette.

In the earlier part of the new millennium, we did ponder the possibilities together.

She: So, what would you like today?

I: A haircut that makes me the desire of women and the envy of men.

She: So, clean up the sides and a little off the top?

I: You’re the expert.

Another time:

She: So, how do you want it this time?

I: Make me look like a rock star.

I: (After she finishes): This supposed to be rock star?

She: Phil Collins!

I: Actually, I was thinking of something more like Jon Bonjovi but, yeah, I guess I can see it.

And another time:

I: I gotta say it kinda hurts to see so much inter-spatial hair-gapitis after you finish.

She: What? You’ve still got lots of hair.

I: I only look like I have hair to people who are shorter than I.

She: **snort**

My barberette does excellent work, yet, I’ve reached the point where the possibilities are so limited that she no longer asks how I want it “this time.” Apparently, the only remaining solution manifests itself without requiring verbal description - a case of simplicity over style with, sadly, a dearth of substance of the top-hair variety.

Somehow, life still goes on.

The First Step is ...

2010-04-19T12:28:00.010-10:00

... admitting you have a problem.

New York has had mandatory pre-existing condition coverage in its health care insurance system for over 15 years. Here's a report from the New York Times which, perplexingly, is not a subject of national coverage.

New York ... became one of the few states that require insurers within each region of the state to charge the same rates for the same benefits, regardless of whether people are old or young, male or female, smokers or nonsmokers, high risk or low risk.

Healthy people, in effect, began to subsidize people who needed more health care. The healthier customers soon discovered that the high premiums were not worth it and dropped out of the plans. The pool of insured people shrank to the point where many of them had high health care needs. Without healthier people to spread the risk, [odd choice of terms to me - ed.] their premiums skyrocketed, a phenomenon known in the trade as the "adverse selection death spiral." In other words, healthy people who don't need insurance must buy insurance at significant cost to help pay for the treatment of people who live in poor health.

Wouldn't true health care involve not settling for "spreading the risk" but, rather more beneficially, lowering the risk?

For a long time now, the government has created special income tax breaks for whatever, ostensibly, it deems important behavior ( e.g., buy an infant car seat, install a solar hot water system, give to charities, subsidize farmers, fishermen or multi-national corporations, et al.). Yet, contrarily, the health care bill ignores responsible behavior and treats everyone the same - an active twenty-year old of normal weight will incur the same premium costs as a four hundred pound 55 year old couch potato.

If congress applied the same taxation logic to health care as various existing special interests, there should be significant tax breaks for people of normal, age-appropriate weight, blood pressure and fitness. So, I ask you, why is this not the case?

Without a productive change in behavior, the health of a high-risk individual cannot improve. Some people would rather continue in self-destructive eating behavior. I say that is their right. But, the rest of us should not be taxed to subsidize their laziness and foolishness. Risky behavior, in any form, should not presume public subsidy.

Some people don't care about their health anyway, until it becomes a matter of life and death.

How Guys Connect with Each Other

2010-04-17T09:12:00.013-10:00

“…it’s a mistake to judge men’s interactions by assuming we need to be like women.”

-from an article that appeared in the Wall Street Journal that focuses on what guys look for in friendships.

Some excerpts:

“Men generally resist high-maintenance relationships, whether with spouses, girlfriends or male pals. When picking friends, ‘men don’t want someone who is too needy’…a third of the men…said they learned positive things from female friendships, but 25% had a negative impression of women as friends, citing issues such as ‘cattiness’ and ‘too much drama’ [see this previous post]. And women are more likely than men to hold grudges toward friends, according to Dr. (Geoffrey) Greif’s 2009 book, Buddy System.”

Researchers say women’s friendships are face to face. They talk, cry together, share secrets. Men’s friendships are side by side: We play golf. We go to football games.

“Our conversations deal with the doing of things rather than the feeling of things…”

“In his poker game, [Dr. Greif] says, if a man were to reveal that he lost his job or that his wife left him, the other guys would say, ‘Gee, dude, that’s too bad. Want us to deal you out of this hand?’

If you are interested in the subject of male friendship and how guys derive support from one another, you can read the whole article here.

A personal reminiscence on the subject:

A little over twenty years ago, I was backing out of the garage in a stick shift to head to work while holding a mug of steaming coffee in one hand and steering with the other, trying to see through the rear view mirror to avoid hitting the center post dividing the garage opening. A slight hand slippage caused the car to veer sideways, bashing in the door trim and drywall next to it. Admittedly, I shouldn't have been wearing sunglasses in the darkened space.

A buddy happened to call later that day to ask what was new. I mentioned the early morning mishap in the course of the conversation. He didn’t ask me how I felt about it. What would have been the point? But, early the next morning on his way to work, he dropped off at our house some pieces of drywall, tape and mud, taping knife and painting tools for me to use to make repairs.

Now, that was a guy friend.

California Confronts Tax Revenue Shortfall

2010-04-16T07:29:00.023-10:00

From Bernie:
The financial crisis is forcing California agencies to make some tough decisions.
(click on image to enlarge)

"There's a real risk that we may have to lay off Jose."
via

It’s All Play Money Now

2010-04-15T11:05:00.007-10:00

Things to think about on Tax Deadline Day:

1. The U.S. national debt is approximately $12 trillion.

2. The approximate yearly GDP of the U.S. (entire economic output) is around $14 trillion.

3. The “M0” money supply (total of all physical bills and currency, plus the money on hand in bank vaults and all of the deposits those banks have at reserve banks, according to the Fed, was about $908 billion, as of mid-2009 [or about 7-1/2% of $12 trillion].

4. Since the start of the recession, the U.S. has lost $17.5 trillion in household wealth, according to a report from the Secretary of the Treasury.

5. According to the 2008 Financial Report of the United States Government, the total liabilities of the United States government, including future social security and medicare payments that the U.S. government is already committed to pay out, now exceed $65 Trillion, close to the GDP of the entire world. Does anyone else wonder where this money will come from?

6. Subsequent to the report, congress and the president passed the health care reform bill, which will become the biggest tax increase in American history.

7. According to the same report, the budget deficit for 2008 was not $455 billion, which was derived by cash accounting, but $5.1 trillion dollars using the government’s (and Wall Street’s) GAAP accounting. That’s a spending deficit of $5.1 trillion for the one year of 2008!

8. According to the Government Accounting Office, “Absent a change in policy…the interest costs on the growing debt together with spending on major entitlement programs could absorb 92 cents of every dollar of federal revenue in 2019" (nine years from now).

9. In 2008, banks were holding $62 trillion dollars outstanding in credit default swaps alone (I don’t have the current figure).

10. With the fractional reserve banking rules in the U.S. banks have lent out many times more money than they have on deposit or that the FDIC can cover should there be a wave of defaults. As of early this month 41 banks had failed since the beginning of this year.

11. Late last month, Fox News reported that 79% of voters polled (72% of Democrats, 84% of Republicans and 80% of independents) believed it possible that the U.S. economy could collapse.

12. When the Federal Reserve (an elite, private, international banking cartel) creates money (introduces more money into the economy), it is loaned to the U.S. government at interest. To pay for the interest, the U.S. government must borrow more money from the Fed at interest. Every time the U.S. does this, the debt gets bigger. This is, by the Fed’s intention, a perpetual cycle of increasing debt.

The question is when can the debt to the Fed be retired? The answer is NEVER. It is mathematically impossible! The house of debt cards will continue to be built higher and higher until it collapses under its own weight – unless the debt is forgiven by the Fed, or repudiated by the U.S. government. There are no other ways.

Fixing Women's Problems

2010-04-14T07:18:00.003-10:00

As a natural born and always-have-been male, I always assume that when women share their feelings they are looking to me for advice as to how to fix their problems. Often, I’m able to do this in a quick sentence or two while rapidly switching between the three or four TV programs I’m watching all at the same time.

Amazing as it sounds, sometimes I can come up with advice before a particular woman has even finished speaking. Why waste time if the solution is obvious, right?

This extraordinary gift, which should be revered, seems to generate little gratitude in response. Baffling as it sounds, anger is the most frequent follow-up response I get.

I guess the only thing I could compare to it would be the response on the part of the populace to the passage of the health care reform bill.

Middle Class Tax Cut Increase

2010-04-13T08:07:00.004-10:00

Sometime in my early twenties, my dad hired one of his doctoral students with the appropriate job experience to lead us in re-roofing the house he and my mother had recently moved into. I think the three of us completed the entire job in one day, two at most.

This student recounted how in his youth he had worked summers for a man who solicited clients for his re-roofing services by going door to door in the rural south. The student explained to us that this business man-of-one for whom he worked told him it was a waste of time asking people whose roofs were deteriorated if they wanted to contract for a new roof, because obviously, as demonstrated by the condition of their roofs, they were too poor to afford a new roof. It was more profitable, business-wise, to sell someone who already had a decently appearing roof a newer one, since he could likely afford a new roof.

Most people by now have seen the report that 47% of American households pay no income tax - that nearly half of the population rides on the back of the other half, against whose income is charged the costs for the expenditures of the U.S. government.

Columnist Mark Steyn quotes these statistics: “The [mere] top 5 percent of taxpayers contribute 60 percent of revenue. The top 10 percent provide 75 percent. Another 40-odd percent make up the rest. And half are exempt.”

So, where will the money be acquired to fund the increasing cost of entitlements, further compounded by health care obligations?

The poor don’t have enough money to tax significantly. Neither do the wealthy, there aren’t enough of them. You’re probably familiar with the statement that if the government confiscated all of the wealth of the richest 1% of Americans, it wouldn’t even fund the expenditures of the government for one day.

No, the group most capable of providing the means through taxation to fund Washington’s incessant appetite for greater and greater spending is the middle class, let’s call them “new roofers” for the sake of descriptive simplicity.

The President promised that those making under $250,000 per year would not see their taxes increased one thin dime, I believe was his terminology. Since average national income has dropped 3.2% since his election, that promise is helpful, if not entirely reassuring, speaking from a “new roofer’s” point of view.

The Essential Serious Tone and Posture

2010-04-09T07:43:00.009-10:00

Two minute video. Far too many interviews with notable people are just like this. Pick your own analogous situation - politicians caught in scandal, the Fed under examination for its monetary practices, teenagers with dog-eaten homework excuses - they often end up sounding about as credible as this.

Grammar & Punctuation, Part 3

2010-04-08T20:05:00.004-10:00

Probably due to inadequate hand washing.

Grammar & Punctuation, Part 2

2010-04-07T17:58:00.006-10:00

Only kids?

Grammar & Punctuation, Part 1

2010-04-06T20:33:00.004-10:00

...and they say men never listen!

h/t to Skip Tucker

Looking to Take Up a New Sport

2010-04-05T13:51:00.005-10:00

I jumped back in at playing soccer about 3 weeks ago. It was fun while it lasted, but I've again come to the conclusion that having to walk as stiffly as Frankenstein for the two or three days of needed recovery afterward is an impractical price to pay for a sport at this stage of life.

So, I'm once again searching for a more age-friendly replacement sport. No doubt my quest will lead away from wall flipping, but I would have liked to have taken a shot at it three decades ago. Have a look.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Health Care as a Command Product

2010-04-01T13:23:00.007-10:00

Henry Ford was reported to have said of his Model T car, "Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants, so long as it's black." This was an economic limitation of assembly line production for reasons of efficiency (and by extension economy): Black was the fastest drying paint color.

Limiting available options of a product is inherently cost-efficient (cheaper & more affordable) since set-up, breakdown and modification, to use fabrication terms, are minimized. It also facilitates maintenance & administration, reducing paperwork and information flow to produce cost savings.

Ford approached the Model T as pretty much of a one-size-fits-all offering, since the assembly line and mass-production brought in the Model T at the most affordable option for the greatest number of people. Ford's early profits were realized through a broad-reaching market strategy, not a specialized one. A black, assembly-line produced car was the most affordable car.

In a free-market economy, as prosperity increases, market demand gives rise to innovative and personalized products as people can afford to obtain desired goods and services beyond mere cost criteria. A product's Increased value can demand an increased price if such value is also affordable to buyers who desire that value. This demand defines specialized markets. Responding to such demand has been somewhat characteristic of private insurance coverage - lots of options in a range of prices.

A commanded, public insurance option must necessarily be the Model T of insurance policies: The most efficient price point with limited options. Why such type of coverage cannot already be provided by private insurance companies is perplexing, unless external regulations make it impossible.

Commanded health insurance products are readily available as examples. Canada has one. So does Cuba. Canada reportedly has long treatment waiting times due to suppressing market supply through regulation and price controls. Castro's approach to caring for poor people has been to make more of them - leveling the playing field, so to speak - and spreading the wealth around until there wasn't any of it left. These are generalizations to be sure, but Canada artificially suppresses the supply of services while Cuba artificially inflates demand.

When governments try to artificially influence the supply of a scarce resource or its demand, over time the outcomes might be expected to vary from unsatisfying to disastrous. In economics, scarcity, like water, naturally seeks it's own level of equilibrium.

Doing the Math

2010-03-31T07:05:00.003-10:00

Okay, here's the scenario:

Freewheeling Fred Freeman is 36 years old. He pulls in $36,000 per year, but he's single, has no dependents and has no health care coverage at work. He's been relatively healthy all his life and, having rarely needed to see a doctor, carries no health insurance.

Under the new health care bill, he must pay a no-insurance-coverage fine, which he does. Fred pays federal fines of $695 per year for 10 years, a total payment in fines of $6,950. At age 46, Fred discovers he has cancer and, since he cannot be denied coverage for his pre-existing condition, obtains health care insurance under the government's public option. Fred undergoes multiple surgeries and repeated cycles of radiation treatments. His medical bills total out at over $180,000.

Assignment: Explain exactly how this reduces the cost of government and provides a benefit to the American taxpayer.

Parkinson’s Law

2010-03-30T08:07:00.001-10:00

In mid-century last, a man named Cyril Parkinson wrote an essay, the thesis of which was that “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” It was written as a humorous reflection on an observable phenomenon: People tend to take as much, or as little, time to complete a task as the time available to perform it.

This adage was later quantified as a mathematical equation to explain the rate of bureaucratic expansion over time. This expansion is characterized as two-fold: 1.) “An official wants to multiply subordinates, not rivals” and 2.) “Officials make work for each other.” The result is that the number of employees working in a bureaucracy increased at a yearly rate of 5-7% “irrespective of any variation in the amount of work (if any) to be done.” This expansion is observed in “required” federal budget annual increases.

A corollary to Parkinson’s Law is, “The demand upon a resource tends to expand to match the supply of the resource.”

If this corollary is correct, the more available health care services become, the more health care services will be utilized. If the rate of utilization keeps increasing, say at a 5-7% rate per year, the budget required to provide the services will also increase at that rate. It’s not hard to see how the cost of funding the health care bill could double in 10 to 12 years.

While it’s not hard to see the call for tax increases to pay for the increased future cost of health care, it’s somewhat more difficult to see incomes increasing at the same rate.

Where do you suppose the money to pay for the bill will come from?

Health Care Twins

2010-03-23T06:54:00.008-10:00

It used to be said of couples that after being married together for many years they start to look like each other. It could just be my imagination but, does it strike anyone else how much the leader of the majority party of the House and the leader of the majority party of the Senate resemble each the other? Put some glasses on Nan and add some Adam Lambert hair to Harry and they'd be hard to tell apart from 20 feet away. At least in my sight. Without glasses.

Makes you wonder how much time these two had to spend together to craft their health-care bills.

One other thing they have in common - extremely low favorability ratings. A CBS poll released yesterday reported a favorability rating of a whopping 11% for Nancy with Harry topping out at 8%.

Thanks to Baby Girl for the help with Photoshop

Health Care Reform of the Cabrini-Green Variety?

2010-03-22T09:23:00.011-10:00

Nearly 39 years ago, I began matriculation as a student at a large Midwestern university in the Urban Planning program. At the introductory lecture of one of my classes, our professor introduced us to the thesis: There is No Free Lunch.

Since most of us freshmen previously had only lived in our parents’ homes and survived largely through their financial support, this was a concept that had never occurred to us. Our professor gave example after example of attempts, under various governing authorities, whereby, usually well-intentioned, planning programs had wrought outcomes with various measures of unplanned, adverse consequences.

His warning to us, as potential future urban planners, was that we must recognize that imposed solutions to problems, whether social or infrastructure-related, would most likely result in unforeseen problems and costs to someone or something.

The most memorable example of failed social planning was the Cabrini-Green housing project in Chicago. In attempting to create post-war, urban renewal, large numbers of poor people were relocated from dilapidated lower-density neighborhood housing into a mega-complex of government subsidized, high-density, mostly high-rise buildings. At its peak, about 15,000 poorer people lived in the housing complex.

Obviously, increasing housing density is a logical, cost-efficient use of land and materials. The thinking was that newer, cleaner, cheaper-to-build, albeit, elevated, housing would produce better living conditions for the poor. I suppose you could say the plan was to bring about hope and change.

Contrarily, people lost their sense of neighborhood and social connectedness. High unemployment was characteristic of the complex. The city found it too costly to provide adequate city services, including the necessary police patrol. Conditions deteriorated and drug-fueled, gang-perpetrated crime skyrocketed. Many residents lived in isolation, fear and increased hopelessness. Some years ago, much of the complex was demolished.

Does the same kind of hubristic thinking that created Cabrini-Green underlie the belief that government control of health care will increases it’s efficiency and economy by administration through a distant and faceless bureaucracy?

Personally, I suspect so, and that a similar fate awaits the public under government-imposed health-care reform. Undoubtedly some parties will benefit. Who they will be will become more evident with time. So will the many of whom new costs and sacrifices must be borne. Regardless of the nobility of motive, or lack thereof, of what anyone chooses to do, build or buy, the cost must be paid for by someone.

There is no free lunch.

Wearin' of the Green, Drinkin' of the Whiskey

2010-03-17T07:02:00.004-10:00

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. For most people, I suspect it has as much personal significance as National Barbed Wire Appreciation Day (use your imagination to think of the responses to Jay Leno asking people on the sidewalks of New York who St. Patrick was).

For years and years, St. Patrick's Day seemed to stand head and shoulders above any other holiday whose celebration represented little more than a shallow pretext for questionable behavior. Mardi Gras could be considered a regional challenger, I suppose, as would specific home cities on the night their teams win an NHL or NBA championship game. But what other day across this great nation of ours produces such a consensus on the appropriateness of consuming too much alcohol? New Year's Eve? Maybe, but how many people use St. Patrick's Day to resolve to improve themselves?

Now, with changing demographics, Cinqo de Mayo is on the ascendancy and may soon surpass St. Patrick's Day as the national day of poorest excuse for personal irresponsibility. We shall see.

The Health Insurance Straw Man

2010-03-10T12:28:00.000-10:00

We keep hearing from politicians and reports from the media that the health insurance industry is making intolerably high profits and that therefore we need a government-sponsored plan to bring costs down (like that’s gonna happen).

Newsbusters.org has ranked 53 American industries by profitability. Health Care: Insurance and Managed Care operates at a 2.2% profit (makes 2.2 cents profit per dollar of revenue). This is excessive to our leaders? If so, why are they not going after Public Gas and Electric Utilities at 8.7 % profitability? Wouldn’t the higher rate of return be more highly intolerable?

I’d be interested in seeing a report on the profitability of health-care related litigation services.

Here’s the list:

2008 Industry Rank as % of Revenues
1. Network and Other Communications Equipment 20.4
2. Internet Services and Retailing 19.4
3. Pharmaceuticals 19.3
4. Medical Products and Equipment 16.3
5. Railroads 12.6
6. Financial Data Services 11.7
7. Mining, Crude-Oil Production 11.5
8. Securities 10.7
9. Oil and Gas Equipment, Services 10.2
10. Scientific, Photographic and Control Equipment 9.9
11. Household and Personal Products 8.7
12. Utilities: Gas and Electric 8.7
13. Aerospace and Defense 7.6
14. Food Services 7.1
15. Industrial Machinery 6.9
16. Food Consumer Products 6.7
17. Electronics, Electrical Equipment 6.5
18. Commercial Banks 5.2
19. Telecommunications 5.1
20. Chemicals 5.0
21. Construction and Farm Machinery 5.0
22. Insurance: Life, Health (stock) 4.6
23. Information Technology Services 4.5
24. Computers, Office Equipment 4.3
25. Metals 3.9
26. Wholesalers: Diversified 3.5
27. Insurance: Property and Casualty (stock) 3.3
28. Specialty Retailers 3.2
29. General Merchandisers 3.2
30. Health Care: Pharmacy and Other Services 3.0
31. Packaging, Containers 3.0
32. Beverages 2.9
33. Engineering, Construction 2.7
34. Health Care: Medical Facilities 2.4
35. Health Care: Insurance and Managed Care 2.2
36. Petroleum Refining 2.1
37. Food and Drug Stores 1.5
38. Pipelines 1.5
39. Wholesalers: Health Care 1.3
40. Semiconductors and Other Electronic Components 1.0
41. Energy 0.9
42. Home Equipment, Furnishings 0.7
43. Food Production 0.6
44. Wholesalers: Electronic and Office Equipment -0.3
45. Diversified Financials -0.6
46. Motor Vehicles and Parts -0.7
47. Insurance: Life, Health (mutual) -3.0
48. Hotels, Casinos, Resorts -4.5
49. Automotive Retailing, Services -7.9
50. Forest and paper Products -9.6
51. Entertainment -10.0
52. Real Estate -13.4
53. Airlines -13.5

Advice Giving to Make a Living

2010-03-04T21:30:00.001-10:00

After checking demographic trends, a marital advice career may not be a broad enough category to ensure a sufficient supply of clients for my services. Not as many people seem to be getting married as in the past.

Therefore, I’ve decided general relationship advice services would allow me to serve more people, not to mention raise the profitability potential of a new venture. Relationship advice is something I already try to provide here occasionally anyway. It’s been one of my intentions regarding this weblog that any reader who followed for a year or two would receive the virtual equivalency of a mail-order relationship-counseling course. Granted, you probably could get the same thing by just listening to a lot of Tammy Wynette’s old songs. I’m thinking some people would still want the caring empathy that only personal contact can provide, which would be where I would come in.

I would, of course, be taking on clients in spite of my tendency to generally avoid unnecessary contact with people due to the possibility of getting drawn into in their personal problems. Maintaining emotional distance through (non)professional separation would be crucial, I suppose. You can see where I’m going with this, right? If I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep I want it to be from wrestling with my own problems, not somebody else’s.

The focus of my advice would be explaining to men why women are so bleeping hard to understand. I could also explain to women what men are thinking but since that’s generally limited to about 3 things I wouldn’t expect there would be much money to be made there.

I suppose I could delve into a list of exclusions – what men are NOT thinking – that could take some time, and time being money, might be worthwhile. Another possibility would be to try to explain to men what women are feeling and why. The drawback there is that by the time you explain it it’s probably changed anyway, which would necessitate perpetual additional sessions. That could be a plus or a minus depending on whether we’re talking about me or the client. Anyway, here’s my best pitch:

Women: With my keen insights and lifetime of observations I can be your one-stop relationship advice source. No need to waste any more time watching Oprah. Men: No need to…well, you probably never worry about relationship stuff anyway, at least until there’s a crisis. But that’s where I can help - avoid the crisis, take my customized, precautionary advice and get it right the first time.

Payment plans can be made flexible so don’t assume you can’t afford my services – and tell your friends – every paying referral will entitle you to 10% free advice, uncontaminated with the sort of personal musings and speculation that you might get from other advice givers (or, even with those things, if you have the time and money to waste).

You won’t find a better deal anywhere. All information is confidential, assuming your check doesn’t bounce, and even if it does, I usually change the names of people and towns when I recycle advice.

So, if anybody needs relationship advice, remember, I’m here for you, for a fee, because I care, and I could really use the money.

Part-time Career Path Detour

2010-02-27T18:43:00.005-10:00

Well, so much for my idea of gaining supplementary income in part-time celebrity employment.

A surprisingly large number of people I know are adamantly convinced that being a part-time celebrity is impossible. They believe it’s like attempting to be be part-time pregnant or part-time married or part-time dead. “Either you is…or you isn’t!” seems to be the most (grammar-challenged and) commonly-stated position on the subject. Leave it to your friends to throw cold water on your dreams.

I’m still having trouble seeing it that way since, before TARP and the accompanying credit crisis, I was a full-time architect and am now, for all practical purposes, a part-time architect. Naturally, it was a small leap of logic that celebrity status might be similarly unfixed. Truthfully, I still slip back and forth on conclusions about the matter.

Anyway, I’ve gone back to the drawing board (which in actuality doesn’t exist anymore, having been replaced with computer workstations) and decided that the best supplementary income opportunity for me is to offer marital advice for a small fee.

Why marital advice, you wonder? Well, I’m married myself, my parents are married…heck, some of my best friends are married. I’ve been around married people all my life. I think I could successfully argue that I’m more qualified to offer marital advice than a literature professor who’s never written and published a profitable novel is qualified to teach literature.

Some might point out that there’s already a bunch of advice out there on how to be successfully married but I say, a fat lot of good it’s all doing, right? There seems to be no limit to opportunity, in that there are still a lot of disastrous marriages and people thoroughly confused on the subject. Besides, speaking of confusion, who’s to say my opinions on the subject aren’t at least as credible as anyone else’s?

So, anyone need some marital advice? My first advice is a free sample; after that I’ll have to charge you. I can’t remember where I learned of that business model before, but I’ve heard it helps develop client loyalty, something that we could all use more of.

Free sample advice example: Unless you are very rich and can support two households in lavish fashion, stay married. I’m afraid that any advice beyond this will cost you, but it will still be way cheaper than divorce. I can’t promise that I can help solve all your problems overnight but, that’s why I’ll be charging by the hour.

In order to expand into other fill-able need areas, I guess I should reach beyond marital advice alone and also offer marriage-avoidance counseling, but you need to let me know going in which one you want to focus on so I don’t end up wasting your time and money.

Sound like a plan?

I’m really excited about this new direction. It’s not just about the money either but I’ll be helping other people while also doing something I really love – telling other people what to think and do. I don’t know why I didn’t see this possibility earlier.

Part-time Celebrity Career Path

2010-02-18T19:11:00.012-10:00

While it doesn’t appear to be a zero-sum game overall, presumably, there’s only so much room at the top for part-time celebrity aspirants. Over a lifetime of experiencing various disappointments, I’ve learned the hard way that it’s important to avoid setting unrealistically high goals. For me, just aiming to enter at the top ten percent of part-time celebrities seems like a big enough target to start with.

Celebrity-mania seems to know no bounds but let’s face it, celebrity-fatigue of specific individuals does happen. Logically, this can only result in opening up opportunities for fresher, full and part-time, celebrities, to move in on someone else’s celebrity territory – assuming they can introduce greater personal value to some celebrity-dependent enterprise.

Being virtually unknown, my own lack of overexposure has to be counted as one of my biggest assets. Another is, I’m not bogged down with type-casting or limited by expectations based on public perception. As a blank slate, I believe I’m in the perfect position to offer multi-dimensional celebrity possibilities that long-established celebrities can only dream of.

We’ve probably all noticed that possessing talent doesn’t seem to be necessary to become a celebrity, nor does having contributed anything to our society. Anybody can become a celebrity. That’s the great thing about America. I mean, you’ve got your Paris Hiltons, your Kim Kardashians, or whichever one of the Kardashians they’re marketing these days… and on the men’s side, half the people who show up as guests on Letterman I’ve never even heard of. I can’t think of a single one of his guests who’ve caused taxes to go down or made my life better in any other way. Yet in this great country of ours, these all still have managed to achieve celebrity appeal and generate income by trading on their names (Note to self: I should probably redo my resume, so as not to appear over-qualified).

I’ve long said, in a country where Rosie O’Donnell’s vitriolic ravings are considered commendable enough to merit (formerly) her own TV and (now) radio talk shows, where Tom Hanks can play the romantic lead (instead of the more believable dorky side-kick) in movie after movie, and a gravel grinding-voiced performer like Joe Cocker can make it big as a singer… well, all I’m saying is that the requirements for becoming a successful celebrity don’t seem to be all that demanding, do they? And remember, I only need a part-time celebrity position, so the requirements should be considerably less exacting, still.

Here’s a list of celebrity-functions I think I could drop into without much trouble: Grand openings, product endorsement, cartoon-voicing, opinion interviews, sporting-event half-time shows, TV series cameo appearances and featured speaking engagements on the knife and fork circuit. Anybody have any other ideas?

I realize I’m going have to be willing to have my photo taken with various sweat suit- clad, free-loading tire-kickers, as well as mixing with glamorous nincompoops from the chardonnay-sipping set at red-carpet events. That just goes with the territory. I do, however, intend to draw the line at lending my future personal allure as a part-time celebrity to political rallies, no matter how much it costs me in income in the short term.

I’d have to be naïve to think that breaking into this business just happens. I’m willing to work hard to attain part-time celebrity status, although, so as not to sabotage myself, I’m also willing to just fall into it through sheer luck.

Here is the only problem, though. I’m facing the age-old conundrum: Lacking any celebrity experience, how do I get started in this work? I’m looking for suggestions as to how to establish my credibility as a part-time celebrity. For moral reasons, salacious videos are out and I’d prefer to not have to do anything that could land me in jail or raise my car insurance rates. Otherwise, I’m open to considering all options. I’m inviting everyone to submit their most creative ideas.

Also, does anyone have any contacts in the celebrity biz? Someone here on the island that could be helpful in getting me started would be most convenient.

Thanks, everybody. I’m looking forward both to receiving your helpful suggestions and the income-supplementing opportunities awaiting me in part-time celebrity enterprise.

Apologies

2010-02-15T19:28:00.002-10:00

I've been fighting a head cold for the past week with intermittent headaches from sinus pressure. I apologize for the dearth of new posts. Please check in in a couple of more days. I should be clear headed enough by then to write the usual nonsense.

Aloha.

Go Where the Opportunity Lies

2010-02-09T19:55:00.008-10:00

A friend of mine asked me a while back, “So, how’s bidnez? You still architek’in?”

He’s the only one I know who uses my profession used as a verb, but I answered, “Yeah, still, business HAS been better.”

The truth is, business used to be a lot better. So much so, that I’ve started giving some thought to supplementing my profession’s dwindling work opportunities with something else that’s less-impacted by the sorry state of the economy.

After giving thought to various possibilities, I’ve decided I’d like to pick up some part-time work as a celebrity, nothing big, maybe eight to ten hours a week – 12 tops. The public appetite for celebrity exposure seems insatiable and, therefore, suggests a recession-proof industry.

As part of due diligence, I’ve recently taken a serious look at celebrity interviews on TV, doing well over an hour’s research. As far as I’ve been able to determine by observation, the primary job requirements of being a celebrity are:

1. Cultivate a self-important air, feign superior knowledge of everything outside of your particular experience and exhibit condescension cloaked in compassion.
2. Say foolish and either obvious or uninteresting things when you’re being interviewed.
3. Talk about yourself a lot.

How hard can that be? I used to do all that and a lot more just trying to get dates in high school.

I know what you’re thinking. The formula above seems oversimplified, right? I'm fairly confident though, if you study the subject for yourself, you’ll find that your own data will correlate closely.

If I were to add 15 or 20 pounds I could be this guy. Wonder what he gets paid?

Next time: My personal qualifications

Guys Hate Drama!

2010-02-04T21:44:00.005-10:00

Thaaaaat’s riiiiight, I’m saying it! Guys cannot stand to be in a drama-driven environment. It produces in us aggravation and dread.

Man alive, was I reminded of this fact again today in the course of documenting some existing conditions in an office suite for which we’re in the process of designing some alterations and expansion facilities. It was during business hours and very crowded with people.

While going about my work I could hear one woman in the adjacent room talking with elevated anxiety about her boyfriend to her female co-worker. She went on and on, speculating what he might have meant by an 8 or 9 word sentence he’d spoken to her. She hit it from different angles, talked about what she thought about each one and how she would respond to every possible scenario. And you know what? I’ll bet the guy can barely remember having had the conversation.

I thought, It is whatever he said, Lady! Why don’t you just ask him what he meant? If you want to look for hidden meanings and symbolism, read Moby Dick. Guys just aren’t that cryptic. If you ask the right questions you’ll get answers that make sense. I hope her boyfriend is recognizing the red flags in the relationship because, if he stays in it, his world will be continually unsettled. Yikes!

I’ve had guys tell me they quit their jobs because of too much drama at work. The only kind of drama a guy likes is the last two minutes of a sports event, maybe coverage of a close election (if he remembered to vote) and the suspenseful plot of an action movie (as long as it is brought to resolution with gunfire, car crashes or explosions, preferably all three).

Guys like stability, order, cause & effect, recognizable patterns, understandable sequences, reasonable dispositions, fair negotiations, clear instructions, stated goals, written contracts, straight talk in plain language, the right tools for the right job and, I might as well throw in, menus in English.

No guy goes to work in the morning thinking, Man, I can’t wait ‘til I finish my shift and I can get out of here to go find me a situation primed with drama! That would really make this job worth it! That said, however, most men of some devotion won’t object to discussing a woman’s concerns or problems in a non-turbulent, non-theatrical manner.

Women, here’s a tip: If you’re looking for male companionship, socially or romantically, the best tack to take is one that avoids appreciably involving guys in endless personal insecurities, emotional chaos and rocky behavior because…get this now, Guys. Hate. Drama.

The Check is in the Mail

2010-02-04T19:44:00.004-10:00

Saw this on the way to the gym this afternoon. Never gave much thought about service interruption like this. Can't just reset the modem with these.

What in the World Happened to Wendy’s?

2010-02-02T19:28:00.010-10:00

It’s been several years now since the Wendy’s in Keauhou closed up. It was in an accessible location, quick in-and-out service, decent amount of parking and, get this –it had a better view of the Kona Coastline than any house I’ve ever lived in!

As real estate, the location-location-location should have guaranteed success: Situated smack dab in the middle of the Keauhou Resort area, road-linked to a grocery store-anchored outdoor mall, signal lights adjacent to help get you in and out of traffic, filling station across the road. So what happened?

The story goes that the owner couldn’t find enough help to stay open. Hard to figure that in today’s economy, but who knows? During the last boom maybe there were more and better jobs available to the (mostly) teenagers who would have been logical candidates for employment at Wendy’s.

Personally, I never got used to square hamburgers, though I ate at Wendy's once in a while, until, that is, I noticed that a lot of pieces of hamburger in the chili formed right triangles.

I recalled, from the summer I worked under a professional chef in the Catskills, that in the restaurant business, profits were maximized and waste was minimized by taking older, less-appetizing food and disguising and re-using it as a component in some different dish. Translation: I always felt like I was eating old, unsold hamburgers that had been chopped up and dropped into the pot.

I don’t know if that’s what they did or not but the evidence suggested it and, well, there were other options. The closing left me with little chagrin.

There’s been a rumor circulating that Kona chef Sam Choy has plans to open a restaurant of some kind in the too-long vacant building. If so, that would be a bold move in these times and I would wish him success.

Another Year, Another Birthday

2010-01-31T21:16:00.025-10:00

Oh, it’s a long, long time
From May to December,
But the days grow short
When you reach September. ‘September Song’ (Sinatra sang it best)

After making a few quick calculations based on family longevity, I’ve determined I’m at the margin between the second and third week in August of probable life span. So, I figure I’ve got about a week and a half of long-time span left before the short days kick in, if “Ol’ Blue Eyes” had it right.

In my very young days of the mid 1950’s, birthday parties and dressing up like cowboys were inseparably linked, like scandal and politicians today, or anytime. You just didn’t go to a birthday party back then without packing six-shooters and a couple extra rolls of caps. We all knew that.

This was my birthday party the year I turned three. I’m the cowpoke in the upper left hand corner who looks like he just left the saloon after downing a shot glass of Nyquil with a vodka chaser.

Saloon singers and dance hall girls were also allowed to attend the birthday party under the chaperonage of my mother.

Usually, there was one boy in attendance who either came dressed like a miner or sod-buster. He often, but not always, also was the designated town character, like Festus on ‘Gunsmoke.’ This boy often either came hatless or with the entire brim of his hat pulled down over his ears. The miner is in the middle, in the photo above.

My fourth birthday party was boys only. I think I was starting to feel self-conscious and awkward around girls. No, wait, that was when I was 13. That's right, back at age four it was just that I believed girls gave you cooties. No, that was age 9. Oh, yeah, the message we got from cowboy TV shows was that it was okay to rescue women, but if you hung around afterward, somehow ...well, it just wasn't right.

4th year birthday party: Town character at left middle.

By my 7th birthday party, I was ~~totally consumed with~~ the Lone Ranger, and had been for a couple of years. There was a period of two or three years where I wanted to dress like the Lone Ranger as often as possible and for every birthday party, Halloween and picture day at school (parents said no). This birthday was also males only; my little sister, the exception.

The Town character is at the lower left. Lesson one: If you want to avoid being seen as a town character, never throw your hat into your toybox before you throw in the rest of your toys. Lesson two: Town characters can grow up to be very successful commodities traders on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. Oh, and his son, Robbie Hummel, today scored 23 points for the Purdue University basketball team in a 66-46 win over Penn State.

I can’t remember when we stopped dressing like cowboys for birthday parties. My last three birthday parties, if you want to call them that, have been get-togethers with friends to sing songs at Karaoke bars. Karaoke, for those of you who don’t know, literally translates, ~~humiliating performance~~“empty orchestra” in Japanese. Karaoke started in Japan and then became successful in the Western World when we too came to understand that one man's misery is another man's entertainment.

This is a photo of last year’s birthday Karaoke group, at least the ones who stayed to the bitter end. We forgot to take a group picture this year.

I wouldn’t call us cowboys and saloon girls. Most people wouldn’t call us singers. What you could call us is enthusiastic, and we adhere to the first rule of Karaoke: What you may lack in pitch and tone is more than made up for with volume and intensity.

If you're approaching the September of your years and have never tried singing Karaoke style you might want to give it a shot. Trying to belt out a song you really only half know can be exhilarating. Still, some people may feel more comfortable singing Karaoke after a shot of Nyquil with a vodka chaser. If you decide to go that route, try to take the group photo beforehand.

The Perfect Job Fit

2010-01-27T06:12:00.021-10:00

What does an ex-leader of the free world do after his term is over? Okay, build a memorial library as a monument to himself, but after that, what?

Considering some of the names drug companies come up with for their products, I’d like to throw out an idea for former President G.H.W. Bush to help fill out his day: Why not become a highly-paid consultant who dreams up names for new drugs? Here’s the scenario:

Phone rings -“Hello, Dubya here.”

Big Pharma Executive: “Hello, Mr. President. We were wondering if you might help us. We want to market a new drug we've developed, one that helps people who have been incapacitated by deep depression. Our product lifts them out of despair so that they can begin to cope with their lives, return to their jobs and function productively. The only problem is, we're having trouble coming up with the right name for it.”

Dubya: “Hold on, let me see if I'm gettin' ya'. You're sayin' If these folks you're talkin' about take this drug, it will help to ABILIFY 'em?”

Big Pharma Executive: “Bingo! Thank you, Mr. President! May we put you on retainer?”

It’s a win-win any way you look at it. The former President gets a cruise job he’s almost uniquely qualified to do, with plenty of time left for golf, and the drug companies can streamline their marketing departments and come up with an endless supply of new drug names that actually describe their purposes!

I only hope the former president doesn’t misunderestimate the immense promise this line of work holds for him.

Can everyone hear me in the back…?

2010-01-26T09:08:00.005-10:00

This is not a political blog but it is at times topical and does attempt to find some humor in the events and travails of life.

I tried to pass on this but it’s just too ripe with irony.

Below is a photo of the President speaking to a group of 6th grade students at Graham Road Elementary School in Falls Church, Virginia, on Tuesday, January 19, 2010.

This photo appeared in several news sites and has not been photoshopped. With two teleprompters and 3 large speakers, you have to wonder how many hundreds of 6th graders attend Graham Road Elementary.

I can only imagine the scene, but here goes:

President: “I’ll now take any questions you boys and girls may have.”

Student 1: “Mr. President, how many roadies do you have in your entourage?”

President: “I believe I’ll refer you to Mr. Gibbs on that one…Yes.”

Student 2: “Mr. President, why do you have the teleprompters set so high above your head? Isn’t it hard to avoid looking at the ceiling while you’re talking to us? Besides, it makes you to hold your head unusually high and then you look down your nose at us and...oh, wait…, never mind.”

Student 3: “Mr. Presidents, how DO you keep such a neat crease in your trousers?”

President: “If you’ll excuse me now boys and girls I have a lunch appointment with some important bank…,er,uh..., some important economic advisers. Thank you for your attention. It’s been a pleasure to speak to you.”

Licensed to...

2010-01-25T08:34:00.024-10:00

007 - Licensed to kill

Mike’itect - Licensed to
practice architecture

I apologize for the light posting lately. My licensure renewal for this state comes up shortly and I’ve spent evenings and the last couple of weekends attending to online courses to meet the required number of continuing education credits for this renewal period.

I can barely stay awake to explain this, much less expect anyone reading about it to find any excitement in the information. Which brings me to this thought.

Does there seem to be an element of danger missing in your life? And by missing, I mean do you miss it? Most teenage guys I knew back when I was one ~~tried to imitate~~ were caught up by the exploits of characters like 007. I can't say that that sort of influence was the primary factor motivating our behavior. More likely, as teenagers, we just did risky, dangerous things by nature. Action movies probably only added fuel to the fire. I remember trying quite a few risky things myself, only some of which resulted in (mostly minor) injuries. That seemed to be the way we tested ourselves, trying to find out whether we were “made of sterner stuff,” or not.

With the increased responsibilities of the passing years, experiments of that type are now pretty much only eyeballed in the rear view mirror. What is the most dangerous thing I do now? I suppose that would be sorting through and trying to find the right CD to put in the car player while in busy traffic.

What? Comes across as lacking a certain captivating quality, you say?

Okay, then, how about this? We raised five children over the last thirty years. Due to everyday family living expenses, moving over two dozen times, including traveling to where work was available, and family-unfriendly, confiscatory tax rates, most of that time I didn’t carry life insurance or health insurance.

Would you call that dangerous? Some people would call it stupid. I called it having had little choice.

The less-than-adventurous soul makes little distinction between dangerous and stupid. But the thing is, there are no guarantees in life. Danger in the form of risk tolerance, to some degree, is required to maintain sanity.

As adults, the risks and dangers most of us live with are not as glamorous, or thrilling as the fictional examples that inspired us in adolescence, but that doesn’t mean they’re not vital or compelling. Just required, and often just thrust upon us. Most of the time we learn to settle into that reality.

Still, if I had a chance to step into James Bond’s shoes for 24 hours…?

It ain’t the years, it’s the (air) miles…

2010-01-21T05:41:00.004-10:00

It’s time to get ready to watch the personal odometer roll over again with another birthday anniversary looming.

In one’s thirties and forties, physical change seems to occur gradually, almost imperceptibly, which allows plenty of time to adapt to the resulting realization. In one’s mid-fifties, a good birthday present would be a portable, frontal airbag to help mitigate the unanticipated experience of rapid deceleration.

Let’s be honest. What’s left of my hair looks like something you’d see on a Muppet character. My complexion is as bumpy as seven miles of Saddle Road, Kona side. Some of my former, easily performed feats of physical daring are now precluded by interference from my waistline, especially those involving forward axial rotation.

These things I can accept. They are natural consequences of ageing. But what I find really perturbing about getting along in years is that, technologically, we still haven’t entered the era of the flying car.

The promise of personal ownership of flying cars by the time of the new millennium was all but guaranteed by our teachers to us as elementary school pupils back in the early to mid-1960’s, a time of optimistically-viewed technological progress, with the America of we young baby boomers still in ascendancy. The vivid images my teachers described of a coming age where each of us would be hot-rodding around in the air created a vision of a brighter future and a better tomorrow, a future that science failed to deliver.

At school, on days when the teachers must not have prepared adequate lesson plans, or perhaps when we were just in an uncontrollable condition, they would leave the classroom to go to the A/V closet and return wheeling in a reel-to-reel movie projector. Most of the films we watched would promote the supposedly imminent technological, economic and recreational gains, which, we were given to understand, would vastly contribute to a more comfortable, enriching life with lots more goofing off time.

Here’s an example of the type of films we watched. The narrative sounds remarkably true to the times back in the day, although the images appear to be of a more recent archive.

Enjoy the jaunt back in time to my idyllic childhood, or thereabouts…

Me! Me! Me! TV

2010-01-20T06:16:00.011-10:00

I’m not without awareness that my recent posts may have perhaps been unduly introspective. I’m reminded too that my mother always taught me that it was selfish and wrong to only think of myself and that I should also think of others.

So, this post is about what I think of others, specifically, others of the type that are featured in a certain sub-genre of reality TV programming.

I don’t even know the names of most of these shows. I’ve only caught bits and pieces of them while practicing the manly art of rapidly changing TV channels with the remote. So, these comments are based more upon general observation than research.

The shows of which I’m writing characteristically features several youngish, style-conscious women who are competing for the attention of one man (like “The bachelor”) on up to the whole world (something about a next model). Another variety is more focused on one particular woman (“Bridezilla”). Women with the worst of character seem to be reserved for display on MTV.

I cannot figure out what the point of these shows is. Why do networks produce them? Is there that much demand for programming featuring self-absorbed, unappreciative social-climbers plying their wiles?

Do the featured women realize the way many of them come off to the public? Here’s how they look to me: Selfish, immature, jealous, whiny, petulant, demanding, narcissistic beyond belief, false and emotionally manipulative. On the MTV shows you can add sluttish and frequently-drunk to the list.

In the face of all this is the astonishing level of qualification they think to demand of the men whom they expect to charm. “He has to have money, of course – oh, and he should drive a ‘hawt’ car.

Are all the good men really already taken or are they being scared off by what they see on these shows? I can’t imagine that very many men view the women on these shows and think, Yeah, that’s what my life’s been missing. I should probably think about the married life. More likely would they see the message as, I should probably think about running for my life. Perhaps these shows are meant to be educational in that regard. If that’s the case then they should be on PBS and have voice-over narration.

As mentioned earlier, I don’t watch these programs very far into the presentations as they tend to induce the gag reflex in me and start to reverse the direction of flow in the upper alimentary canal, so, it is a possibility that I might be missing something. Perhaps they have a pie fight every now and then to show that none of these women are serious.

On the other hand, if they are serious and are that desperately craving the attention of others, they really should find a more dignified way to satisfy their longings like, oh, I don’t know, starting a blog or something.

Happy Birthday, Mom...

2010-01-19T09:17:00.008-10:00

& wishes for many happy returns!

With love, Mike'itect

Career Reflections

2010-01-18T06:28:00.003-10:00

As the rest of the past week continued to be unhappily slow, work-wise, I remained in an introspective state of mind. In particular, I reflected on my career choice as an architect.

I wondered, Are most careers this exposed to the vagaries of the economy? Would there have been a better choice of livelihood? How did I end up in this profession anyway? I’ve been compelled by circumstances to review the whole process.

I followed up high school by enrolling at the Big Ten University located in my hometown. I had no particular occupation goal at the time. I partly enrolled because so many of my friends did also and to run on the track team. My first semester tuition and fees ran a total of $124.00, so it seemed like a relatively inexpensive, low-hazard experiment.

I began in the Urban Planning curriculum at the suggestion of my dad. I had little idea of what planners did, but the curriculum did include some art and graphics courses, which interested me more than the other freshman requirements. In my first semester, I took a sophomore level basic design course in the architecture curriculum.

Toward the end of the semester, my teaching-assistant instructor, who was working on a master’s degree in architecture himself, told me that I seemed to do well at the work and should give some thought to transferring into the architecture program. I said I would.

Upon leaving the class those thoughts consisted of mainly, I wonder how much architect’s make? and, I wonder if chicks dig architects? All I knew of architecture students at the time was that they seemed to pull an extraordinary number of all-nighters in their design studios. In spite of that, I had met a few at some social functions and none of the urban planning variety, so I concluded the risk was tolerable regarding my concerns and met with the dean that afternoon to transfer into architecture.

It was like reading from the wrong roadmap but somehow still driving to the right destination.

Even with the benefit of hindsight, I don’t know that I would have chosen a different path, although it might have been for more judicious reasons than my then 18 years old mind could conjure up. Anyway, it just seemed like a good fit at the time and still does.

That was close to four decades ago. This is the third significant (and worst) recession we’ve experienced over that period. The first two were tough enough on business, but as the economy now de-leverages, the fed issues a flood of fiat money and the government’s solution to the problem of overspending is to overspend with more zeal and increase the number of programs to be funded, it’s hard to see how this can end soon (or well).

Time will tell. I’m imagining they’ll need some architects in Haiti, but the economy there is worse than in our neighborhood. Pray for Haiti. Pray for the U.S. too.

People Who Resemble Me

2010-01-14T11:46:00.012-10:00

Work has temporarily dried up. While awaiting a green light on our next job, I’ve engaged in a bit of introspection, taking stock of things, so to speak.

In that process, being predominantly a divergent thinker, I haven’t been able to ignore the feeling I keep getting that I’ve seen myself somewhere before.

Engaging in the type of research that profitable employment ordinarily prohibits, I’ve come up with a short list of people who provide a public face on my otherwise privately- led life - and body.

Beginning in my youth…Calvin.

I know, spooky, right?

I don’t know how the cartoonist came up with the idea of making Hobbes a stuffed tiger (I dragged around a silky, black, stuffed kitty for years, myself), but there’s little question that my young face was used as the model for the incorrigible human character in the strip.

In my teen years I exhibited the general, non-descript, gangly, misproportioned features of most other adolescents, so no use wasting time there, except to say I had a fulsome head of well-coiffed hair, just so you know.

Others have noted as well as I that LSU head football coach, Les Miles, though younger than I, resembles me as I looked during the better part of my mid-life years.

On post-game TV interviews, I’ve noticed that even Les’ speech and mannerisms mimic mine. Perhaps our ancestry converges a few branches up. Further, it’s almost surreal but I too might have become the head football coach at a major university, had I been interested at all in that career, had the right training, contacts and job experience and been extraordinarily lucky.

Which brings me to the last analogous face: Glenn Beck.

Glenn most resembles me during my annual, post-holiday, weight gain. I’ve heard him say that he hates exercise, so we’re different there, as I try not to say that out loud.

You’ve probably heard it axiomatically stated that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. Fascinatingly, I seem to be closer than ever to discovering mine.

h/t to Baby Girl for help with Photoshop

How Men Talk to Their Wives

2010-01-13T07:45:00.007-10:00

Relating to yesterday's post, here's an example of a husband communicating with his wife (about 30 seconds long).

Why Men Don't Listen

2010-01-12T08:36:00.014-10:00

Last week, while leaving from a pre-workday meeting at my friend’s garage, I walked through his kitchen as his wife and daughter were there getting ready to leave for work themselves. Apparently the two of them had been talking over the day’s plans.

“I hope our talking didn’t disturb you,” his wife remarked.

“Of course not,” I replied, “Men don’t hear women. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.”

I know that it’s hard for women to grasp why this is. It’s generally a mystery to men too, but some research indicates it’s somewhat due to the way men’s minds are biologically wired.

According to this ABC news report, men hear women’s speech differently than the way they hear the speech of other men: “The research shows men decipher female voices using the auditory part of the brain that processes music, while male voices engage a simpler mechanism [of the brain]…this causes a more complex range of sound frequencies [in a female voice] than in a male voice…”

Am I reading this right? It takes more brainpower to listen to a woman talk than a man?

The report also notes that, due to the greater complexity of the structure of women’s vocal chords and larynx, they have a “greater natural ‘melody’ in their voices.”

So that explains it. Absent focused concentration - perhaps even with it - men’s brains have a tendency to hear women’s talking as innocuous music, I assume much like what is played in an elevator or supermarket to relax patrons. So sometimes instead of hearing the facts of what women are telling us (not to mention the unspoken, emotional subtext), our minds subconsciously just start humming along to whatever it is they're saying. I’ve noticed, myself, that this phenomenon sometimes even produces a soothing, lullaby affect.

So, women, what can you learn from this scientific revelation?

Perhaps this: If you want a man to "hear" you, keep your message(s) short, simple and stick to the main point(s). If it's really important, don't speak at all; write it down and pass him the note. That's your most effective communication mode. You also may find it helpful to refer to this chart I’ve created.

You’ll note from the chart that even if you limit yourself to one subject only in your communication, statistically, the likelihood a man will remember it is no better than about 80%, and it decreases exponentially as the number of subjects in your statement increases.

So, please don’t blame me(n) anymore for not hearing you. A man's brain just finds it too easy to hum along to the sweet song in your voice.

Banyans, Last Week

2010-01-11T08:05:00.009-10:00

1-1/2 Minute long surfing highlights. Footage shot by EfrankE on January 6 & 7, Wednesday and Thursday, of last week.

Second to the last rider is Kona-grown professional surfer, Shane Dorian.

Elvis Presley, 1935-1977

2010-01-08T07:54:00.015-10:00

Elvis Presley would have turned 75 years old today.

As singers go few others have left the building with such a sustained following. He still sells a lot of recordings, and tons of memorabilia, even at more than 30 years after his passing.

How many Elvis impersonators have him to thank for their livelihoods, today? Interestingly, most of them represent him in his "comeback" years, most often portraying him in a sparkly, caped jumpsuit in a Spandex weave. I guess it's pretty hard to fit into those Jailhouse Rock jeans for most of them.

The story goes that after a concert one time, a woman came up to Elvis and gushingly declared, "Elvis, you're the King!" Elvis replied to her, "No, ma'am. Christ is the King, I'm just a singer."

No argument there.

I imagine a lot of people will be humming favorite Elvis songs today. I'll be singing along to some of them on CD myself while driving about, windows up and sans sparkly, caped jumpsuit. Probably.

An artists depiction of a 70 year old Elvis, had he survived, published some five years ago. I Can't recall the original source.

They Grow up So Quickly...

2010-01-07T20:34:00.019-10:00

While deeply absorbed at my desk earlier today I was roused abruptly by a series of thunderous, wall-shaking, floor-crashing noises. Once I had managed to fix my eyes open, and realizing that I was actually in my ~~home office~~ atelier and not alone at night in the middle of a limitless field with bombs bursting around me, I rushed down the stairs to see if the bookcases had fallen over or my grandson had pulled the family computer off the desk.

“What happened?!,” I called out into the living room.

“Centipede,” one of my daughters casually responded. [Note to Midwest friends, centipedes have mandibles, which can inject painful, tissue-necrotizing venom into the unwary foot. The pain can last for hours. They occasionally show up in the house. Their bite is something you want to avoid.]

Centipede?, I reflected, and you didn’t yell for me to take it out with my shears or a hammer or a long kitchen knife? Turned out, she had repeatedly beaten the threatening creature with a hard-soled shoe until dead. She’s wiry, but strong, and probably missed a few times before finishing it off; hence, the noise.

I stood there for a moment, slack-jawed and speechless. Before, the girls had always called on me to handle centipede disabling and disposal duties. What just happened?, I pondered. Then, it struck me: My little girl had grown up!

Okay, admittedly, she’s been married for a couple of years to a good man and has a toddler, yet this was an unmistakable milestone of maturity, a point of passage from which there was no going back. No longer will she call for my heroics in moments of centipede crisis. Now she’ll be the one in cool command during centipede intruder battle. It will be she who will bring about house centipede doom, at least at times when her husband’s at work and I’m deeply immersed at my desk.

You know, you raise them the best you can and try to set a good example for them, and then all you can do is hope they’ll turn out all right. It’s instances like these that you finally get to see the rewards of your efforts.

I’m not ashamed to mention I experienced something I assume was some sort of emotion-related sensation, perhaps even a feeling, in seeing one of my babies pick up a shoe and carry on her heritage with the same focused, killer-attitude toward an invasive pest as I modeled in days of her youth. I’m just glad I was here when it happened.

The torch has been passed to a new generation.

What, You Call This Global Warming?

2010-01-06T21:10:00.027-10:00

This is nothing. Why back in the Little Ice Age,...

Recent national and international headlines...

Britain’s Big Snow Shuts Cities…
Cold Snap Spurs Power Rationing in China…
Winter Chill Could Be Worst in 25 Years in USA…
Midwest Sees Near-Record Lows, Snow by the Foot…
Iowa Temps ‘a Solid 30 Degrees Below Normal’…

And locally…

Mike’itect Has to Pull Sheet Over Self After Awakening to 4:00 a.m. Breeze...

That’s right, last night in bed while turning over between sleep cycles I was awakened with a start by a clearly detectable breeze passing through the bedroom, bringing an almost noticable chill to the air.

Reacting quickly to the shock with a surprisingly clear mind, my first thought was to get up to close the lanai slider, but after I thought about it more calmly, decided instead to yank a corner of the sheet away from my sleeping wife’s clutches, enough at least to cover my upper torso. This one bold act furnished me enough warmth to drift back into sound slumber until morning.

Last night's disappointing temperatures did, however, give way today to warming conditions under clear skies, and a western swell, with surfing conditions expected to improve through the weekend.

Caution remains, as disruptions do not appear to be over yet. Temperatures are expected to dip down into the upper sixties tonight, before rising to a predicted high of 81 degrees by mid-day.

Offering comfort and helping provide a solid mooring to us in the midst of continuing weather uncertainties, is the perspicacity of this young beachboy:

“The worst day eating sand at the beach is better than the best day eating snow. Anytime, anyplace.”

Kua Bay, North Kona Coast

Say it Loud, Say it Proud

2010-01-05T06:18:00.015-10:00

Over the past couple of days, various links from around the Internet led me to this website.

Here’s the accompanying text:

Say the year 1810 out loud. Now say the year ‘1999’ out loud. See a pattern? It’s been easier, faster and shorter to say years this way for every decade (except for the one that just ended) instead of saying the number the long way. However, many people are carrying the way they said years from the last decade over to this decade as a bad habit. If we don’t fix this now, we’ll be stuck saying years the long way for the next 89 years. Don’t let that happen!

Well! Let me just point out that the sci/fi movie 2001 anticipated the future before most people gave any thought as to how we would be living in it, much less pronouncing it, and that movie authoritatively was called Two-thousand and One, not the easier, faster and shorter, “Twenty Oh-one”. I also recall that the year 2000 was pronounced, “Two Thousand,” not, “Twenty Oh-oh.”

Were he consistent, the author of the text would have had to pronounce that year as Twenty Hundred, a term suggestive of a pre-schooler describing the biggest number he could think of after eleventy-seventeen.

Anyway, I'm thinking the greater problem will lie in describing the past decade in future years. Will it be the decade of the Aughts? The Naughts? The Oh’s?

And what about here in the islands?

“Eh, Honey, when we wen stay ovah da Kalahikiloas? Back in da teens, yah?”

“Not! Wen stay in da nah’tings.

Where I lived as a child in the Midwest at the confluence of Northern settlement and Southern migration, some pronounced the word insurance, “in-SHUR-ance.” Others believed the correct pronunciation was “IN-shur’nce.” Tomato-tomahto. We accepted each other’s pronunciations and dialects and managed to live without the compulsion to agree on only one.

But then, life was just clearer back there in the “Nineteen-hun'ert an’ Fifties.”

A Walk to Remember

2010-01-04T05:56:00.009-10:00

Last summer, after months of suspense, Target - excuse me, Tar-zhay - finally opened in Kona. While the building was under construction, the buzz of anticipation had been pervasive, the excitement barely containable, at least concerning the women around me.

The lead-up affected men differently: Target? What? Some kind of store? Where? Will it have a hardware department?

I forgot about and missed the Grand Opening in July. Around October though, I dropped into the store to see if I could pick up a set of replacement headphones for my computer.

I had just left from an early-morning, Saturday, workout class at the gym. Walking into Target, the first thing that hit me was the smell of ... pizza cooking? At 8:15 a.m.?!! Sure enough, they built in a pizza counter next to the Starbucks, right off the entrance. Garlic smell mixed with coffee smell on an early-morning empty stomach. Blech!

I cast a sweeping eye around the store, trying to take in the basic layout, at least for as far back as the naked eye could see. It gave me that overwhelming feeling you get walking into the exhibition hall at a trade show, except without the funny-smelling carpet.

An employee was nearby, walking in my direction. “Excuse me,” I said, where is your electronics section?”

“It’s toward the back, in the middle. Walk straight ahead and turn left down there. Continue on until you see the TV’s.”

My feet were already sore from the gym. “It looks pretty far, is there some sort of shortcut?”

“Not really.”

“Well, do you know if the store carries headphones?”

“No, not really.”

“Uh-huh. Okay.” In spite of the cooking odors, I drew a couple of deep breaths before starting off, thinking maybe I should’ve stretched-out the quads again, first.

I made it to the electronics, found the phones and made the hard-floor hike back to checkout, wishing that big-box stores would provide free Segway use for deep store-penetration shopping. If I have to take a long walk, I’d rather do it on cushiony grass at the fields at Old A’s.

This last week, while my folks were visiting, my dad called up from the condo to ask me if Target had a grocery section. I didn’t know for sure. I’d never ventured all that far into the store. What about a men’s department? I didn’t know about that either. I didn’t recall seeing either one from along the route to electronics. I wasn’t much help.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like mom & pop, general merchandise-type stores better. You can see over the aisles, you’ll stumble upon whatever you’re looking for within a minute or so, it’s easy to find your wife if you get separated, you don’t have to walk a quarter mile to get back to the door, and you can park curb-side, rather than stadium-distance away.

I mean, could you even set up a store better than this one?

I’d like to see more stores like this, ones that cater to those of us who are part of the short-walk shopping demographic and who prefer the simplicity of fewer choices and more limited selection.

I expect though, not too long from now, you’ll only be able to find one in a walk down memory lane.

Resting the Eyes Today

2010-01-02T17:14:00.005-10:00

Did you watch too many bowl games yesterday, too?

Ch-ch-ch-changes in the New Year

2010-01-01T17:12:00.004-10:00

Three or four weeks ago, a buddy at the gym was recounting to me how, while he was working on something, his observing wife tried to tell him he was doing it the wrong way and proceeded to tell him how he should’ve been doing it.

He told me he stopped what he was doing, looked up and asked her rhetorically, if not ironically (and hoping she’d get the point), “How do you think I ever managed to do anything before you came along?”

With a wide-eyed look of perplexity and in all seriousness she replied, “I have absolutely NO idea.”

I believe he then resumed his task, as before.

What’s the saying? Women marry men expecting they’ll change. Men marry women expecting they won’t.

What do you think? Do people really change?

My wife of many years doesn’t think so, not very much, anyway - that as time goes on and people age, the nature of their character traits, rather than changing, only intensifies - at least in the absence of some event traumatic enough to force upon them a completely different way of looking at themselves or the world.

In contrast, the world around us is in a state of constant change. A few changes are foreseeable, but most exist only in the foggy future and remain a mystery until the time of abrupt unveiling.

The media this last week has been awash with all sorts of predictions about the changes coming along this new year. I never know what to make of most of it.

From way out here on a map-dot in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean, circumstances on the Mainland or other countries can seem far-removed and non-concerning, yet, tipping point events in history that have caused momentous changes were often the result of small, unpredictable events in faraway places, the repercussions of which carried around the world.

No one can say for sure what the new year holds, but change is sure to occur. Will coming events force us to change something about ourselves in the process? Will we be willing and able to manage such a change?

Whatever events occur, the best preparations that can be made are growing and sustaining good relationships with family members, friends and work-mates.

If we get those things right, we can probably handle most any change the year might come up with.

New Year's Eve

2009-12-31T08:50:00.013-10:00

Back in the Midwest of my childhood, my parents and their closest group of friends took turns hosting New Year's Eve parties. We kids always ended up staying home with a sitter, so until I got older and my parents came up in the hosting rotation, I had no idea what these gatherings were all about.

I had to piece together an understanding of what being a grownup on New Year's Eve was all about from a few photographs. Here's one from 1959.

I know what you're thinking. This looks more like a PTA meeting than a party. Where are the funny hats, the noisemakers, the confetti? Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of dancing? The Fred Astaire-type movies on the old black and white Philco always had dancing on New Year's Eve.

Well, apparently later, there was some sort of revelry involving wearing a "costume" and, it looks like, an extemporaneous skit, which must have comprised "the program." I assume this photo was taken after order was restored.

Pretty simple stuff but it went with the times.

I hope each of you finds yourself with a gathering of your closest friends this New Year's Eve, even if it's for the simple enjoyment of being together. Happy New Year!

A New Year's Tradition

2009-12-30T08:00:00.015-10:00

Where has the last week gone? One minute it’s Christmas, you blink a couple of times and it’s nearly New Years Eve. Not to panic, though. There’s still time to form up the annual New Year’s Weight Loss Plan.

Perhaps you engage in this tradition too, the one where, at the change of the year, you set out an unreasonable goal of losing an impossible amount of weight in order “to get back to where you need to be.”

I don’t know if this stems more from obligation or compulsion, social pressure or internalized value, but it’s definitely become an annual tradition, much like ice-bathing for the Polar Bear Club or bathing at all for hippies.

For me, it started up again last night. Sensing I was a little behind schedule, the pressure began building to talk about getting on some sort of diet. Starting off on a diet cold-turkey usually ends in predictable failure so I always try to ease myself into it a little at a time. It helps to be able to see a diet coming so you can brace yourself for impact.

I like to start off by limiting myself to just three meals a day and one dessert per ~~day~~ meal. This is to avoid a shock to your system, which can leave you feeling hungry. Hunger pangs can lead you cheat on your diet so you want to avoid them at all costs.

I go from there to substituting a salad instead of a milkshake as a side to the double-bacon cheeseburger and order the smaller bag of fries, which I think is now called carton-size.

Pizza can be a real diet-slayer, so only eat those on weekends. Alcohol is loaded with empty calories so be sure to drink light beer whenever you eat pizza.

Some experts say exercise is important but watch out, vigorous exercise can also leave you feeling hungry and if you’re trying to stick to the three-meals-a-day plan you may want to avoid any kind of exercise that involves exertion.

Always eat before you go to parties, so that you don’t feel the need to pig out because the food is free. Explain to the hostess that you’re on a diet so she will understand and ask if you can take a “doggie bag” with you to nibble on during the drive home to help avoid those pesky feelings of hunger.

There are other tips to losing weight but most of them are just old wives tales, in my opinion. There is one other useful diet device you might consider: Post a picture of yourself on the refrigerator, taken when you were at the weight you wish to achieve. It can be a great motivator! Here’s the one I put up on my fridge yesterday.

This was nearly 40 years and 65 pounds ago. I think it suitably represents an unreasonable goal of impossible weight loss and should work nicely.

Come Fly with Me

2009-12-28T08:08:00.020-10:00

This was flying during better times

(okay, not fashion-wise)
h/t to Marcy Massura

I’m sure you’re all aware by now of the Christmas Day failed commercial flight bombing by a terrorist who tried to detonate explosives hidden in his pants. It was one of the subjects of conversation last night at our four-generation family dinner.

Consider: What has been the government’s response to this? Tighten the borders? Deport visitors illegally remaining in this country? Refuse the visas and entry of flyers from countries with known connections to terrorists? Pay extra special attention to suspicious characters with funny-sounding names from home countries most Americans couldn't find on a map?

Of course not, that would require common sense and professional competence. The government bureaucracy that oversees commercial air travel is today already busy compiling a list of additional rules and restrictions that will further inconvenience non-bombing flyers. Conventional wisdom dictates that it’s better for hundreds of millions of innocent consumers/flyers to be greatly inconvenienced than to engage in passenger profiling which might inconvenience a few.

I can’t help but suspect Nationalized Health Care will be run with the same mindset but that’s not the subject here.

With most businesses, the customer is always right. In the airline industry the passenger is always wrong. "No, you may not bring on your own water or drinks, you will buy ours at inflated prices. We will not offer meal service on long flights, you will purchase an over-priced snack from us that tastes like cardboard if you get hungry. You will pay for each bag you wish to check. You will be at the airport another hour previous to your scheduled departure. Oh, and keep your hands where we can see ‘em." They might as well instruct their flight attendants to ask, “Is there any way I can make your flight MORE uncomfortable?”

While pasing through the various required checkpoints to board a plane, each of us is treated as a suspect, a potential criminal. I get treated better at Wal-Mart, which has even abandoned using the geriatric security guard to check receipts in shopping bags.

I expect commercial air travel, as it exists, will soon reach the point where it will no longer provide a benefit sufficient for people to use it by choice. Someone will come along with a new business model that will work better, attracting many customers. The government (i.e., you and I) will probably then have to bail out federally-regulated, existing airlines, which will be deemed too big to fail.

“So,” you say, “if you’re so smart, what would you do to solve all this?”

Me? I’d hang these posters up at two hundred foot intervals in every airport in the U.S.

Hey, it’s a start…

What Do You See?

2009-12-26T13:58:00.026-10:00

Christmas Day is now past and a major tree un-decorating project looms darkly over my near future.

While laying the lights onto the Christmas tree a mere three weeks, or so, back, I commented to my son that I was frustrated that I couldn’t get the lighting wires to settle into the tree so as to disappear satisfactorily.

His response to this was, “Do you really think anybody will notice? Don’t people see what they expect to see?” His case being, I suppose, that people were experience-trained to perceive the lights and ignore the occasional uncooperative wire.

Naturally, he was speaking from a man’s point of view. Men will just see a tree with lights. Women, I’ve found, tend to examine Christmas trees in great detail. Any unusual ornament will produce questions about the history behind it (where and how you got it, how long you’ve had it, etc. – the type of questions that are better asked of my wife, as I can only respond to each of them with, “Uh, I don’t remember.”).

I try to hide the wires for the benefit of the women.

Tangentially, let me pose this question to you: What do you see in the following frames?

images from http://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/

Pure beauty, right? Objects of stunning symmetry about multiple axes, incredible detail, transparency, prismatic highlights of color, each snowflake unique and a masterpiece of creation.

Now, what do you see in the photo below?

This is a photo of my uncle standing in front of his home a few days ago in Minnesnowta.

What did you see in the photo?

Did you look at this and visualize the movie scene where Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby sing White Christmas as the doors at the back of the stage open to a gently falling snow, or maybe the Budweiser commercial always shown with TV football games at Thanksgiving, the one with the Clydesdales pulling a wagon over a stone bridge in a forest during snowfall?

Whenever I see snow like this it reminds me of walking about a mile from the Architecture to Engineering College across the university campus with the frigid prairie winter wind whipping sleet in my face and the bitter cold getting down my coat, stinging my neck and wrists (other associations include cold, wet feet; ice-caked windshields; frozen brown slush in potholes; cars that won’t start and dealing with this stuff month upon month).

Individual snowflakes are beautiful, especially in photographs made with special equipment. I have no history impacting these images. I therefore find them beautiful and pleasant to observe.

I do have more than a little experience slip-sliding down the interstate in evening twilight on icy roads in high cross-winds, with the white stuff rapidly accumulating before me. Experience also, with shoveling out the driveway and sidewalk before leaving for work and coming back to walk the dog in the sub-freezing darkness of night - the kinds of snowy scenes you won’t find on postcards or visitor information brochures.

In the end, I guess people do see what they expect to see and respond accordingly, personal experience being the master of perception.

That’s not to say you can’t make the best of a bad situation. Here’s the result of one man seeing opportunity in the snow for making lemonade when life gave him lemons…

The Incarnation

2009-12-24T09:57:00.008-10:00

In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning…to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. – Gospel of John 1:1 & 2, 12-14

This is the Christmas celebration. God took on the likeness of his creation, lived on the earth in time and space, in human form, as Jesus, experiencing the same limitations and deprivations common to all. Yet he was also the exact representation of the Father, full of grace and truth.

Through his perfect obedience to God the Father, Jesus overcame the power of sin and, finally, death itself. After his resurrection, he sent the Holy Spirit to establish his kingdom of righteousness in the hearts of men and women, to begin training his followers in faith and obedience to the Father’s leading, this after his own example, so that they might become like him, forming a body under his headship.

One event proceeding from the Christmas narrative remains yet to come: Jesus’ return to the earth to establish righteous government over all nations. His, will be a fair administration with true justice - the equal treatment of everyone under his one perfect law. It will not utilize political intrigue nor the favoring, or oppression, of one by another.

As men experience true justice with mercy through the administration of his laws, they will come to an understanding of his true character and thereby learn to know him and love him. Scripture says that someday, the glory of the Lord will cover the earth as the waters cover the sea.

Then there will be peace on earth.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. – Isaiah 9: 6-7

Merry Christmas to all!

Cold Case, December, 1957

2009-12-23T12:45:00.009-10:00

Following our recent move, I came across this old photo. It is the last in a series of four annual photos taken at the same department store Santa chair over the first four years of my life.

This photo is important for two reasons:

The first: It was taken at the age when I was at the peak of my physical attractiveness.

The second: Apparently, this was where I began learning to stand up for myself.

I honestly cannot remember the circumstances now, but by examining the photo as forensic evidence, the camera appears to have caught me in the act of ~~attempted assault~~ payback.

You’ll notice from the photo that Santa Claus caught my wrist just before I closed the deal with a sucker punch to the gut.

Having been a fair-minded child, I must assume that he had brought on this incident himself, probably from having failed to deliver the goods after nodding assent to a whispered request the previous year. Even then I had a weak stomach for double-crossers.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Clearly, I had no intention of playing the fool a second time.

In retrospect, I probably should have spent more time working on my Hey, look over there! fake smile, which, evidently, did not produce the measure of distraction necessary to cause the Jolly Old Elf to drop his defenses. Perhaps he’s seen that trick before.

Whatever I asked him for that year is lost in the mists of time, but I don’t doubt that the message I delivered to a certain Mr. Claus that day was received, loud and clear.

I don’t recall being disappointed the following Christmas morning.

B-r-r-r-r-r

2009-12-22T20:59:00.005-10:00

I meant to post this earlier this week. It's a satellite photo of the Mainland, a long, long way from the Big Island, showing the snowy front that passed over much of the Eastern Seaboard last weekend. The large, jagged water form below the broken land mass looks like Chesapeake Bay, with the Delaware River above it and to the right.

Washington D.C. would be at the end of the brown hooky-looking line at the end of the Potomac River, branching off the left side of the Chesapeake.

"Lucky you live Hawaii!" Me too.

It's a SAD Day

2009-12-21T20:12:00.009-10:00

Today was the shortest day of the year. More accurately, it’s the day with the shortest duration of the sun’s rays cast upon the earth in the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice.

I have to say, some of the people I ran into today who ordinarily seem pretty friendly and happy appeared to be a little farther south than usual on the emotion-o-meter. Admittedly, I can’t say that I also don’t feel an impact from the shorter daylight hours, although too, I can’t spend two consecutive days on the Hilo side of the island without feeling pretty much the same thing, no matter what time of year it is.

Returning to topic: Back in the day, this phenomenon (which we called merely, a feeling) was commonly known as the winter blues. Most people probably felt it at some time or other. Today, the same thing has taken on a more modern, a more lofty-sounding, a more jargon-confusing appellation. Today, the winter blues is Seasonal Affective Disorder (that’s SAD – get it?)

Wikipedia cites the US National Library of Medicine, which notes that the SAD mood change "may cause people to sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweet and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up.” Hmmm… and this is different from the effects of pregnancy just how?

Continuing from the cited source above, “There are many different treatments for … Seasonal Affective Disorder, including light therapy with sunlight or bright lights, antidepressant medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy (wonder what those guys charge?), ionized-air administration, and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin.” None of these treatments sound very cheap to me.

I suppose most of the SAD-associated players figure it’s a win-win. Researchers get paid to study it, depressed people get a more sympathy-inspiring, higher status-carrying problem to talk about and, of course, there must be some sort of professionally-sanctioned remedy - therapy, if you wish - to treat (notice they don’t say cure) the disorder. Doubtlessly, the various recommended treatments involve costs that contribute to the 1/6 of the economy related to health care.

Here’s a less-costly remedy, one suggested – at the time I would’ve said commanded - by my mother when I was a grade-schooler. “Quit moping around, I’m tired of it! There are plenty of people who are worse off than you! Go find something useful to do if you want to feel better. Go out and run around, get some exercise. Go play with your friends or get out some of the things in your closet and play with those.”

And that’s what I did. After a while, the days stayed light longer, the weather got better and so did we all, kids and adults. We didn’t see doctors or psychologists, we didn’t need professional therapy or drugs, light machines or special air administration. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why health insurance was affordable then, and so was seeing a doctor when you had an actual physical injury like a broken bone or a real illness like an ear-infection or pneumonia.

Perhaps the SADdest thing of all, is that we’ve become such weak characters that there is no problem so small that we don’t expect someone else to take care of it and insurance to pay for it. That’s not just SAD, it’s a shame.

Most Sundays, the Men Cook

2009-12-21T06:35:00.021-10:00

To break the routine of the week, most Sundays, the men take over cooking responsibilities for the day at our place . I usually make some kind of breakfast/brunch around nine a.m., mid-day meal we leave everybody to their own plans and Sunday nights we try to come up with table fare that doesn’t require the women to be (heavily, at least) involved.

I pretty much know my way around a kitchen, except for this one in the house that we moved into several weeks ago. It has about three times the cabinet space as our former place and I still haven’t learned the location of everything. Meal prep in this one sometimes makes me feel like I’m driving around lost in L.A. or Chicago, looking for the expressway on-ramp. This can be aggravating, and occasionally humbling, especially when I have to stop what I’m doing to try to find one of the girls to ask for directions to the right cabinet. It’s a guy thing.

Last evening, after a weird weather day of thunder & lightning (rare for Kona, yeah?), heavier winds and rain (even waterspouts viewable from town, according to Baby Girl and her boyfriend) the evening calm returned. The sky brightened and with drier conditions, the men set to work on dinner.

Here’s the boyfriend with a pair of Uhu he netted earlier in the weekend.

He has a recipe for fish stuffing which comes together something like this.

Husband of next daughter upward fired up the grill for the turf to go along with the surf.

The rest of us made potatoes and rice (Midwest and mid-West Hawaii preferences both accommodated) and salad.

After the many years of raising them, having the now adult generation around to pitch in - whether it’s moving or cooking, driving out on errands or other things I can’t think of right now - is an unforeseen pleasure. It's fun to have them around and great to have helpers.

The Dog Gifts of Christmas

2009-12-20T16:15:00.031-10:00

Adding to all the other pressures of the season how many times have you looked down your shopping list and thought, I really should pick up something for the dog but he’s so darn hard to shop for!

Sure, you can always fall back on the safe, squeaky chew-toy or yet another rawhide bone, but these are so cliché. They fall right in line with other gifts that have been done to death: Tie for Dad, sweater for Mom, deep fat fryer oil for Bubba, fireplug chew-toy for the pooch…

How about something that shows a little imagination, something that’ll make your dog feel like you put a little thought into your shopping this year, that you didn’t just run out to the nearest gas station on Christmas Eve right before closing to pick up the first thing your eyes fell on?

Here are some ideas to help foster holiday happiness with your canine and help you out of the hackneyed-gift rut this year.

Automatic Ball Launcher & Caddy

If your dog is an attention-seeking black hole and you find you just don’t have the energy left after a hard day at work to stand around tossing tennis balls and waiting for the dog to retrieve them, you need to get him one of these. Once you train Ol’ Roy to drop the balls back into the hopper you just stretch out in the hammock, reach down, flip on the switch and let the dog knock himself out while you catch a quick pre-dinner cat nap.

Doggie gets all the exercise you need.

Automatic Pet Fountain

As long as there’s enough garbage in the cans on the side of the house for rooting through you can hook this thing up and leave the dog without returning home for a week. Man’s Best Friend gets all the water he requires, plus, with the automatic sensor there’s no waste, helping to keep your water bill down.

“But I don’t want to leave my dog for a week,” you say. “I like my dog and want to take him with me.”

No problem. This year, get your dog the...

Shoulder Pet Suspension Harness

This ingenious travel accessory provides your pet with the same delightful effect as hanging his head out of the car window, but at the more leisurely pace suitable for taking in the sights - and without the problem of the wind blowing his drool along your side windows. No more leash tangling either, or waiting while your dog has to sniff every object you pass. Whither thou goest, he will go.

Note: This item recommended for little frou-frou dogs only. If you own a real-sized dog, check for availability of “The Double.” The Double harnesses you together with a partner who’s expected to shoulder half the burden, with the dog slung between the two of you. [Warning! – The Double might also operate as a relationship-commitment tester, but this is not intended or implied as a primary function of its design].

So, get going now. If you hurry, it’s still not too late to get the gift that declares to your pet, “You’re not just any dog in my life, you are The One,” without, you know, actually having to say it out loud.

Helpful gift Ideas for Women

2009-12-18T19:27:00.010-10:00

This is Women Gift Buying 101 level, but, based on anecdotal evidence, it's not just beginners who can make empty-headed selections.

Recommended: Shiny, sparkly, expensive fashion add-ons - classy, sophisticated and timeless. You can't go wrong with these.

Not recommended: Kitchen appliances, beauty aids, gym memberships (unless requested), clothing in sizes that could turn out to be too big or too small when she tries them on, framed photo of yourself (unless signed with statement of devotion and accompanied by items from recommended category).

Other possibilities (in ascending order of expense): Professional massage coupons, i-apple stuff, vacation without the kids to romantic destination, new car with big red ribbon on top.

Stick within the boundaries, guys. You may think yourself capable of operating outside of time-tested traditions and that your own idea will turn out to be the exception to prove the rule while even demonstrating your superior creativity. That's the kind of thinking that has lost wars, bankrupted nations and, well, there is that famous golfer example in the news that just won't go away...

Helpful Man-gift Ideas for Women

2009-12-17T20:52:00.024-10:00

Ladies! – Still looking for that gift to buy to show your devotion to the man of your dreams? Here are my recommendations:

The Man Wall.

You get four TV’s hooked up to a 1200-watt home theater system, 5-disk DVD player/changer, i-pod docking station, built-in keg-o-rater, microwave oven, two cigar humidors, 32-bottle wine rack, snack cabinet and at the top, a 7 foot long sports ticker driven by a dedicated computer. With careful planning up to 12 college games can be viewed on one game-day Saturday. Could there be any better way to say, "I love you," than the gift of the Man Wall?

The base model sells very reasonably for under $14,900.00. Most effectively used when installed in a dedicated man cave, but placement against a large blank wall in the center of the living room can also be made to work – an important consideration in these tougher economic times.

During half-time, your guy and his buddies will want to eat American so how about ordering some U.S.D.A. Choice, Land of Liberty steaks to throw on the grill?

This can also be a great opportunity to show your patriotism, especially those of you with a hunger to serve your country.

And while the steaks are cooking why not bring out some appetizers skewered in manly fashion with a cocktail nail rather than a little frou-frou plastic, fringe-top toothpick? Guys generally feel more at ease in the presence of hardware hospitality. For you ladies who are married, this item can greatly help your husband’s buddies feel a sense of acceptance and belonging in your home.

For those disappointing mismatches when the game is a blowout, interest often wanes and guy-guests may start heading for the door. What better way to keep the crowd entertained and in your home than with this foosball table?

No more waiting for a chance to play when you’ve got one of these babies. Everybody plays all the time and the games can go on all night, one after the other. Also, you can spread out the man-mob through several rooms rather than trying to cram everyone into the living room or study.

To keep things fresh in the powder room, you’ll want a beer candle to light before the first guest arrives. No more competing floral and girlie potpourri scents overwhelming and confusing the senses. With the beer candle burning, the party never ends, even when you have to stop to take care of business.

Ladies, I trust these suggestions will prove themselves enlightening, helping you think the way a man thinks - an invaluable tactic in successful man-gift selection.

Gifts like these can’t help but deepen his affection for you, strengthen your relationship with each other and tighten your bond. They say, “I love you,” in the gift language every man understands.

Christmas Yard Displays - Part 3 (Final)

2009-12-16T20:29:00.008-10:00

So, here’s my point, the reason I think some homeowners apply themselves with such evident devotion to their yard lighting and ornamentation.

Christmas yard lighting displays are one of a dwindling number of safe havens for individual expression anymore. You still have the freedom to put up pretty much any kind of display you want to without concerning yourself that some cry baby is going to claim he was offended by you and report you to some authority or initiate a class action suit (certain gated-communities, excepted).

There are a few other havens suitable to freely expressing yourself. You can go to a major sports event dressed like any kind of character imaginable and act up like a drunken frat boy and the crowd cheers you on. Fashion is another. In some venues, you can dress as outrageously as you want (probably not in Kona, though) and if you are famous and/or slender, people will remark about how bold, daring and chic you are (before they go home and laugh their butts off).

But for the rest of us, we who are trying to maintain some degree of dignity, the more viable option is to light up the yard in a unique and individual - i.e., not in a committee consensus - way. Granted, some displays are more beautiful than others, and some just make you shake your head and think, “huh?” (see photo above)

But to me, each one is in some measure a representation of the deep and abiding need people have to maintain a connection to the traditions of their past and hope for the future, and more importantly, to express the uniqueness of their individual lives and affirm their personal significance in the midst of a society that more and more tries to deny them that. I’m all for their efforts. I think it’s healthy. We need to see each other more and more as the unique individuals that God made us and to remember that we bear His image. We might give some special thought to that during this season.

Christmas Yard Displays - Part 2

2009-12-15T21:19:00.003-10:00

In spite of the post-war economic boom, there was still a strong social memory of the Great Depression and World War II in the Middle America of my youth. Extravagance and showiness had not yet generated broad social approval. Personal moderation was considered virtuous and admired. Most Christmas yard displays were characterized by what I suppose you’d call tasteful lighting and restraint.

Until the mid-1960’s there had been something of a consensus regarding where everyone and everything fit into post-war American society. On the positive side of this, the country was pretty steady, its mood was upbeat and there was substantial social stability. On the negative side, people of some backgrounds were not afforded freedom of opportunity to work toward, or achieve, their full, God-given potential.

Social upheaval began to occur rapidly in the late 1960’s. America was divided by the Viet Nam war. Rebellion and the breakdown of social conventions - both those that had probably been useful and those that had clearly not - led to a lot of confusing social experimentation. The consequent unraveling of social cohesion produced wildly unpredictable - sometimes cavalier, sometimes tentative - expectations in social relations.

No longer was it easy to identify where you as an individual fit into your own society. It was natural that people began to experience increasing insecurity and it wasn’t hard for some to withdraw into a more isolated existence.

Clamorous, ideological, agenda-driven interest groups generated increasing social tension and political polarization. The traditions and customs on which secure social relations had previously been built crumbled. By the late 1970’s there was an identifiable “general malaise” affecting the country fed by high energy costs, job losses, inflation with a stagnant economy, loss of purchasing power and one peddled crisis after another. The country didn’t seem to work very well anymore.

Today, our lives increasingly seem to be driven either by political or business interests, with social friendliness, neighborliness and plain old human kindness diminishing, if not producing suspicion.

One particularly notable thing also has happened. Group rights have supplanted individual rights as the social goal of politics. Growing pressure to believe, think, and act in a superficial, politically correct way has become institutionalized policy in many government, educational and business domains. Verbalizing certain observations or expressing personal opinions not in line with the status quo of the new agenda might now draw serious sanctions. Not surprisingly, confidence gives way to caution. Social relations stiffen.

There have been other factors in play, of course, but I believe one particular consequence of the social and political direction the country has moved is of paramount significance:

The value our society places on the individual and his freedom to conduct his own affairs and determine the course of his own destiny resides in a much more vulnerable place than, say, previous to 1965. I think a lot of individuals sense this.

Yes, I am going somewhere with all this. I’ll be back to wrap up in the next post.

Christmas Yard Displays - Part 1

2009-12-14T20:41:00.013-10:00

I took this snapshot on our way back from dancing tonight. On the far right (I know it's hard to make out so click on the photo) there is a rotating ferris wheel with riding teddy bears. It's just above the baby Jesus scene. I got to pondering the significant investment of time and effort it took to install some of these lighted yard displays, not to mention their off-season storage requirements. Why, I asked myself, do some folks go to such great trouble to put all this in place for such a relatively short time?

Because they must enjoy it a lot, I answered myself.

Yes, but why?

Hmmm.. do I dare trouble my mind by probing the question more deeply? Shouldn't I apply for a Pell Grant or something to study this phenomenon. After all, is anything considered accepted knowledge if it hasn't been quantified? My own reasoning was beginning to bore me and since I was driving and dozing off wasn't a desirable byproduct of my contemplation, I tried to change the subject. My mind, however, just wouldn't let the subject drop.

It is PLAINLY evident that the scope of so much Christmas season yard lighting, not to mention an explosion in the appearance of popular media characters - and even mechanized display activity - far exceeds anything observed in my childhood. Back then, even a string of colored lights across the front gutter was exhibited on only a few homes in the neighborhood and even those were considered showy.

More tomorrow...

Did you get the Christmas lights up yet, Deer?

2009-12-14T20:17:00.003-10:00

Saw this in the news today. This was taken in Colorado Springs where one of my brothers-in-law and his family lives, as do some other friends. Hey, to you all out there!

Looking closely, except for the deer, it's uncanny how much the string resembles our lights when we dig them out of storage every year.

I'm thinking now all the other deer will laugh and call him names. They can be that way this time of year.